Monthly Archives: May 2009

5 Cents and Pancakes

Posted by Atty. Melody Moya-Manuel on May 17, 2009 2 comments

(After almost a decade of missing this friend and searching for her in the net, I have finally found her.  Atty. Melody Moya-Manuel was one of my dearest friends in Law school.  I was always inspired by how this lady handles herself under pressure and keeping beautiful smile on her face even under nerve-wrecking class recitations in our subject International Law where our friendship started. ‘Mel’, as I fondly call her is married to Atty.  Rommel Manuel Esq. and a mom to 3 girls equally beautiful as her. – Toni)

 

The Manuel Family: Atty. Melody, Atty. Rommel, Dazzle, Daphne & Divine

The Manuel Family: Atty. Melody, Atty. Rommel, Dazzle, Daphne & Divine

“I don’t know whether this would still be on time or my deadline had been past due but nevertheless to give in to my friend’s request to write an article about a working mom working abroad, I just thought to give it 10 minutes of my time to write this very thorough letter if this would appear like one to express my thoughts, emotions and sentiments of a mother working abroad.  

 

 

 

I am a mother of three beautiful and adorable daughters age 5 years old, 3 years old and a 3-month old – Dazzle, Daphne and Divine, respectively.  I never thought my being a lawyer would be practiced in the land of big Apple.  I passed the bar in the Philippines, continue my Masters of Law in Japan and now a working mom in New York.  Likewise, becoming a mother of three is beyond my comprehension specifically as I juggle up my being a mom, a wife while honing my legal skills and HR management. 

I said ’5 cents and pancakes’ as the title of this piece because of my experience this week. 

Monday I was pissed off with my husband because he paid the bus driver $2.20 instead of $2.15, with the extra 5 cents he gave to the bus I did not speak to him nor allow him to kiss goodbye when he get off from the bus.  It was not the amount that I was getting upset but it was the thought that the little money we have and the budgeting that’s killing me every single cents matters to me.  I had difficulty in figures since kindergarten and up to now I never passed with flying colors when it comes to figures so the pain is just hurting so much when it comes to giving priorities in our budget. 

Comes Tuesday, I have no singles and smaller bills to my surprise, this time, a different bus driver who seems fond of us as a couple allow me to get in without paying.  I thought I misheard him so I came back to pay but he said that’s fine..no worries. I was beginning to feel a little guilty with the extent of argument and damage we had just yesterday and now I had a free ride of $2.15.

Wednesday, the most devastating day of the week, we found out we double paid the Immigration in the amount of $1,570 and it came from the fact we tried to rectify the mistake we had in previously filing an incomplete application, canceling the other one, submitting a new one, approving the incomplete one, putting a stop payment to the corrected one and then ended up paying for the two applications otherwise we would be in debt with the government and at the same time canceling the visa should it be approved if we put a stop payment.  Oh yes, I’m screwed!!! I cannot imagine losing $3,140 worst scenario if both petitions be rejected.  It was all my fault.  I kept mum on this with the kind of things happening to me–I’m trying to be in control of our budget of our money just to have a little decent life here in America and yet horrible things are just starting to come in…

Thursday, I read a forwarded article from my sister who dislikes forwarded message and requested that such messages for her be stopped.  I was surprised she sent it to me, to my family and I read it “Pancakes” – a story of a boy who would like to do good things and yet ended up in turmoil in trying to cook one good pancake for his parents.  Expecting his father would get mad but instead his father embraced him and helped him with all his mess with his father getting messy as well.  An analogy of God the Father according to the article helping our way people in trying to do good but ending up in bad shape. 

I know the connection of this is still somewhere to establish in my experience as a working mom, but,  as I can see myself, I am no exception to  this boy, trying to perfect everything but still ended up @!*^-&%@!! (sorry for the word).  I try to be a loving mother but ended up yelling to all my toddlers always telling them I’ll send you home in the Philippines.  I try to be a good advocate of immigrants and I ended up paying more than my salary. I try to be a good wife but I ended up a grouchy madam. I try to be a good friend I ended up submitting this article too late. To top all that, I missed my dad during this times of trouble and I ended up being hanged up as my 77 year-old dad is trying to prove he is still busy with the household chores.

Wow…sooo heavy…but do I feel bad? Would it be a surprise if I say that ” I just feel it all” —  I still feel I am loved and blessed –and I for the first time in my life I feel I am a human—now I concluded my becoming a mom makes me human.  Whether or not here or abroad, Philippines or elsewhere it won’t make a difference. Only the fact remains, it gave me a touch of a human being — making mistakes and still loved by many, my loving family.”

 

Atty. Melody Moya-Manuel
Legal Assistant, Herbert Tan Law Office
Manhattan, New York
Philippine Lawyer
Masters of Comparative Laws in the University of Tokyo Japan
Monbukagakusho Scholar (Japanese Government Scholar)
University of the Philippines, Los Banos, BA Sociology, Cum Laude

How ‘Reign’ Changed My Life

Posted by Rodenna Punzalan on May 14, 2009 None comments

(Deng Punzalan is a single parent who works in the Law profession.  She is a simple person with simple dreams.  Her life primarily evolve now with Reign – the love of her life.  Unexpected pregnancy was just one of the battles where she ended up as the victor.  This lady, in my mind, will never get defeated with trials as she keeps herself strong with faith in Him and optimistic attitude.  I hope that this short story she is sharing with us will give inspiration especially to single moms out there. – Toni)

 

Lovely Mom 'Deng' w/ the only 'man' in her life Reign

Lovely Mom 'Deng' w/ the only 'man' in her life Reign

“It was an event that made a tremendous change in my life.  I consider it as a big turn which made me strive more in life than just go on with the flow.  Now I’m struggling with my chosen career because I know that a little kid’s future is at stake and his bright future depends hugely on me.

 

 

 

 

I had a second thought before, if I will keep my baby or not.  I didn’t know what life is ahead of us. It was an unexpected pregnancy and I was forced to resign from work to avoid gossips because of my condition.  There was no night that I stopped shedding tears.  I felt that no one will help me not even my family except myself. I had no work then. I was slowly using my savings for our daily needs.  I was losing all the hope that I have.  But as I felt his heartbeat, I realized that life is growing inside me and I needed to be strong for him.  I’ll face all the battles in life just for my baby.  I became optimistic that I can do everything for my son and somehow we will survive. 

 

I really needed to start from nothing since I lost everything, my job, my savings and my family.  The only thing that was left for me is my son who gave me all the reason to live, to be courageous, faithful… 

 

Searching for a job at that time was just impossible.  There was nobody to attend to my son.  I was fortunate enough that my sister who sought to work abroad needed somebody to attend to her children while she’s away.  So I took care of her kids for a fee.  When my son was already one year old I started looking for a new job since our expense is increasing and my baby is old enough to be left at home with his nanny. 

 

Every single day was a battle for survival.  I worked from one company to another trying to find for a more promising career and high salary job. We were able to survive our battles. 

 

My son Reign is quickly growing as he is 4 now, and turning to be a happy child without any trace of our struggles before. Presently, I enjoy working in my chosen profession.  Hopefully, one day, I will attain all my dreams for me and my son.”

 

Editor’s note:  Rodenna “Deng” Punzalan, 37, works as Paralegal Marlow Navigation Philippines, Inc.

My Princess Hannah

Posted by Thess Gozun on May 13, 2009 1 comments

(Thess Gozun, also known as Tisya, is one of the friends I have met online.  I admire her for being a good writer, which I doubt she even knows she can really write.  I like the very natural flow of her thoughts and the way she put them into writing.  I have read her blog and asked for her permission to republish it here at LMC to share with all our moms here.  Tisya is a mom of two.  This article is about her daughter Hannah. – Toni)

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Tisya & daughter Hannah....

Tisya & daughter Hannah....

“being the first born she had all the privileges that her dad can afford. and being the first born she wished there will be no second birth but of course it didn’t happen…comes the dad junior. well up to now she resent having a baby brother who is not a baby anymore but pretending to be one.

at kindergarten she cries and yells everyday as in everyday and doesn’t want to be left with her teachers and for the record im the longest staying mom inside the classroom at a given time. who would think that she will be one of the brightest kids in her batch? she even won in bible quiz bee and spelling quiz bee at the age of 3. she graduated top2 but received 5 medals, more than the top1 received during grad day…..well I don’t know who can explain it hhmmmm…

at the age of three she knows more than bible story than i can remember and more than fairy tale stories that i’ve read. she really loves reading books..she even won in a poster making about god’s creation at that age…  matalino talaga, kanino kaya nagmana? (really intelligent, I wonder where she got that from) of course her dad would claim that it his genes.

her elementary years were never different,,,she’s always on top of her class. ONLYher dress sizes made the BIGGEST difference and she blamed it all to me because im also BIG, ganun (is that so)?

hey ! dont blame me for being sentimental…..she’s now in her freshman. everyday she’s been with the mirror longer than you can imagine, she have her own Friendster account and have more friends than i have she’s texting like mad ….tetetetetetexting ting ting,singing,singing,singing gang sumakit ang ulo ko (until I get a headache) seriously ,,,,,looking at her makes me a proud mom, she’s growing graciously and smarter everyday btw she’s now in the overall top1 slot in her school and defeated the freshmen and juniors during their school quizbee..yabang ko no?? (conceited me, hey?) well………

now that im no longer the stay at home mom that i used to be,i guess she misses it. one time she even told me she wanted me to resign from my work so i will be home most of the time na touch talaga ako (I was really touched) ……so by january i’ll be “home” again. btw the ‘baby brother”wants me to work pra daw maraming money (so that there would be more money he said) and the fight begins again…”

I See Myself In Her….

Posted by Toni on May 10, 2009 None comments

I have been very nostalgic lately.  The feeling was difficult and I just can’t stop the tears….

I dropped Ivana the other day in school.  When we arrived there, all the kids were outside on the playground.  I gave Ivana a kiss and a big hug before I left her as I said “I will see you later baby, have  a nice day”.  “Have a nice day too mama, I love you”, she said with her angelic voice as I walked away.  I sat in my car infront of the gate where I can see her.  I stayed there for about 20 minutes just watching her.  She was just standing there watching the other kids play.  Her best friend did not come that day and so I can tell she felt alone.  Ivana is a quiet type of girl, she observes a lot, she is always hesitant to approach other kids, she prefers that other kids approach her, and when they do she feels so shy as if she will melt.  Isn’t it that as kids we are afraid to be rejected by other people?  I can tell she can feel this sometimes as she have told me few times that the girls in school did not like her clothes or her shoes, but I wonder if what she meant was they did not like her.

And so for almost 20 minutes I was watching her and the sight of her alone standing there without anybody approaching her made me so emotional.  I cried.  I can see myself in her when I was a kid and I have experienced feelings of rejection so many times.  I knew inside me I was a good kid, generous, helpful…but why is it that kids like me did not find me interesting.  I felt like I was living in a world like an invisible object.  That was sad, and I do not want my kids to experience the same.

As parents, it is very important that we make our kids feel accepted, loved, and that they are beautiful in every way.  It is very good that we shower them with compliments whenever they are doing something good or they accomplish something that makes them really proud.  The fact that there were lots of times I was not given compliments as a child had a huge effect in my self-esteem which I am still carrying now that I am already an adult.  My parents were not very vocal about their love for me and my siblings; they are the type of parents who can’t even say the words “I love you” to their kids.  That fact though did not make them any less before my eyes, but made me realize instead how people are really different in so many ways.

I left school that day and drove home…the tears were not flowing anymore, but I felt so relieved with the realization that I can be a better parent and a mother.  There’s always room for improvement and lessons to learn from experience.

“Motherhood Means Sacrifice…”

Posted by Rose Paraiso on May 2, 2009 None comments

(LMC goes to Tokyo and took a piece of this young mother’s thought about working abroad.  Rose Paraiso, 39, is a mother of two kids who made a big sacrifice of working away from her kids to give them a good life.)

Rose Paraiso, working mom, Tokyo

Rose Paraiso, working mom, Tokyo

Taking care of my kids personally is my greatest joy as a mother.  Giving them my full attention and providing their daily needs makes me feel that I’m 100% a mother to them.  But life is so hard sometimes that I had to make a very big decision for the sake of their brighter future.

 

I have never imagined myself leaving them and work abroad. But I have to do this so I can give them good education, convenient life and brighter future.  I am working as a company employee now in Tokyo, Japan.  I left them more than 5 years ago when my daughter was 5 years old and my son was 9 years old.  The first year was so hard…I cried every day thinking of them every minute, wondering if they are ok.

 

Now, I can completely relate to parents working abroad to establish career and leave their family behind.  I only have seen stories and scenes like this in television series and in the movies.  Who can forget the movie of Claudine Baretto and Vilma Santos “Anak”?  Oh no, I don’t want any drama in my life like that in the movie, though the story that it tells have lots of lessons to offer especially to kids with parents working abroad.  This movie will make children understand the sacrifices that their parents need to undergo for the love of them.

 

Being a mother also means “sacrifice”.  I had to be strong and fought the loneliness and homesickness that I felt. I don’t feel any regrets with the decision of leaving them for a while, because I know someday they will understand the sacrifice that I made.  I must be happy now…my son is going to college this school year, in one of the prestigious universities in Manila.  Hurray! 

 

As a mother, I will continue in giving them all the best that I can give.  I am still breathing because of them… They are the strength that I hang on to…they are the air that I breathe…they are my life

Editor’s note:  Rose Paraiso is a graduate of A.B. Psychology at the Philippine Women’s University.  She’s a dedicated mother who used to be a fulltime mom to her two kids until she decided to work in Japan when she got the opportunity to avail a visa as Japanese descendant.  She is the eldest daughter of Rodolfo “Yasuo” & Norma Nakama.