Category Archives: Parenting Journal

Playground Safety Moms Should Know

There is no denying it, kids can’t resist playgrounds. But before the little ones enjoy the see-saw, slides and monkey bars like those found in connecticut jungle gyms; moms should these playground safety tips. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. So while your little ones are busy in the playground, moms should:

  • Stay alert and attentive all the time. As much as possible avoid too much socializing with other moms.
  • Inform the kids on what playground equipment they are allowed to play around. There are age appropriate equipment, direct your kids to the ones suitable to their age.
  • Check out for playground hazards, look for sharp edges, nails and broken glasses.

Choosing the Right Daycare

Most families have both parents who are working to meet the financial needs. But moms are the ones expected to choose the right daycare for their child. If you are one of those working moms, whether you are a simple factory worker or one of those US Business Lawyers; you would still  need to find the right daycare to keep your child busy while you are at work, here are some tips that may help you choose the right daycare:

  • Talk to other parents who put their kids in a daycare. It is best to speak with parents whose kids avail of the daycare services, in this manner you would know whether it will fit your standards or not.
  • Find a daycare that is after the safety of the kids, check whether the furniture and fixtures are child-proof such as tables with round corners and non-toxic toys.
  • Check whether the child-staff ratio is okay. There may be too many children in the daycare and inadequate number of staff to take care of them.

Roni Roxas On Single Parenthood

About the Author:  Roni Roxas is a single parent who committed herself to her kids whole-heartedly.  She strives hard every single day of her life working and earning a living in any possible and dignified way she can.  She is a mother to Justice (19), on Jury (18), Judge turned (17) Judiciary 15.

We had a single mother-guest in LMC before.  Roni is another one willing to share her story.  I love sharing stories that are encouraging for women.  Being a single parent does not make a person insufficient.  Strangely, and more often than not, being alone in a fight for life can convert a person to an unbelievably strong individual, not only in faith but in their passion for life.  I admire women like Roni.

Come, read her story.

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Single motherhood works for me for I don’t need to have so much division with my time.  I just divide my time for my children and work and chores.  Of course there are disadvantages and advantages, but as for now, I am enjoying the life where I have to decide on my own.

It’s not easy to survive especially that I have 4 children.  It gives me head ache.  It causes me sleepless nights.  I don’t have a stable job.  Here in the Philippines stable job earns only half of what I need.  Perhaps it will suffice to pay my rent only.   I have few works where I earn extra income, like sewing, retail selling, singing and catering.  Still what I earn is always not enough.  I hope someday, I can have a small business of my own.
Being a single parent confronts me with physical challenges as well.  BAWAL MAGKASAKIT (I am not allowed to get sick!).  That is the rule.  If I get sick, I cannot work and I can’t afford to buy food to set on the table.   Emotionally and spiritually, I always make sure that I hang on to the Lord for he is my companion for better or worse.

I can say that being a single mom was harder when my kids were still toddlers.  It was really a daily battle and struggle. Now that they are grown ups, they are well adjusted and they can help around the house.

On parenthood:  Being a parent is hard, yet rewarding.  You need to sacrifice a lot, even your own happiness just for your children.  You need to be strong and to be their light.  You need to make sure that you understand them.  I don’t believe in generation gap.  I guess parents need to get out of their way to see what is the world out there so they can see it in their children’s eyes.  You cannot protect your children if you don’t know what is out there.

Life is a learning process, you only stop learning if you die.  There is always something new every day.  A new challenge.  A new battle.  In life, there are things that come your way that you think you cannot bear.  But as time goes by and think about the past you will just realize that you did it courageously and triumphantly.

The most important thing I’ve learned regarding relationship is that you cannot fully know a person if the communication is not open.  If your partner does not tell you everything then, it is not a relationship worth living. Communication is very important.  I guess a relationship will sail smoothly if there is an open communication.

Someday, I want to find love again.  I don’t like to grow old alone.  But I guess I need to make sure my children are agreeable and the person that I will love is okay for them.  I don’t like to be inside a situation where there will be fights and tensions.  I don’t deserve that.

For my children, I want them to be happy all the time.  They deserve it as well.  Whatever life they choose I just hope they are happy and that they will love each other no matter what.  In my mind and in my heart…in my journey as a single parent…I hope that all the lessons and values I inculcate in them will live and bring them thru forever.

On School Holidays!

It’s Ivana’s school holiday until she comes back to school in January 28.  She is so excited to start 1st grade.  Meantime, she wants to enjoy my company and do things that we both love doing.

There are lots of ideas I have in mind on how to make the most of our time together.  Among the activities we have on the list are:

*Shopping of course! :-D   How can two girls like us refuse the temptation?  Although, we are both very thrifty when it comes to things we buy or spend on.  We also make sure that what we buy are the things that we really need.  They must be of reasonable price and good quality.

*Swimming.  Since it is summer here in Australia we are planning to have several days in the pool to practice with her swimming lessons and exercises.

*Go to the beach.  This is not necessarily to swim but to enjoy the sand, sand castles, views, food and friends.

*Go to the park and scoot and have a picnic.  She’ll scoot.  I will be in-charge of the picnic. :-D

*Watch movies!

I and Ivana also love to hang out in our favorite Pool Cafe or the Coffee Club.  She indulges herself with milk shakes or baby-ccino while reading a book.  I love my ever favorite cappuccino while relaxing my mind from my usual hectic days.

Cakes, Balloons And The Pretend Party!

IN 2007, IVANA CELEBRATED HER BIRTHDAY IN A COFFEE SHOP IN PERTH WITH MAMA, PAPA and ALVIN and a mini CHOCOLATE CAKE!

I always believe that the way you raise your kids will influence the way they think until they get old.

I have nothing against kids’ birthday parties.   They, for sure, are tons of fun!   Honestly, I love them, but, when I was a kid, I wouldn’t whinge to my parents to have one.  I just want to share some of my views that might give you the idea that we do not necessarily spend a fortune in throwing parties.  But as long as we are on the right track financial-wise that is fine.  Nothing can beat the joy and happiness that our kids would have in events like this.  That is priceless.

I came from a family where birthday parties were not a common yearly event.  Our special day will be filled with memories of simple gifts from dad and mom and a cake and ice cream.  Although there were few times our parents gave us birthday parties at home, it never really get into us that parties are necessary or important.  Birthdays for us in the family are special days to give thanks and praises to the One who brought us here.

When my kids started to go to pre-school and primary school, what I do every year on their birthdays is bring cakes and loot bags for their classmates.  They are given to them during the afternoon recess.  That marks the celebration.  A Sunday before or after their birthdays I always emphasize especially to my daughter (because she’s a bit older than her brother and she understands better) that we say a special ‘thank you’ prayer for another wonderful year and birthday.  My kids’ birthdays were usually celebrated with a nice dinner with the whole family.  These were made special by the gifts they receive on that day as well.

Ivana had only one birthday party, and that was when she turned 1.  She doesn’t even remember anything anymore about that occasion.  In our family, it is a tradition that we hold a celebration or party on the 1st, 7th, 18th (girl)/21 (boy) birthdays.  For us, those are the important milestones in young people’s lives.

There were several parties Ivana had attended this year.  It is because she has more friends now that she is in kindergarten.  I know she secretly wish that there will be a birthday party on her 6th birthday next week (November 24).

Last week, early in the morning, I found a hand-made invitation that Ivana wrote for one of her friends in school.  It says:  “Dear Elizabeth, You are invited to a pretend birthday party in my house on Saturday.”  Oh that broke my heart.  But shall I give in and let her throw a party? No.  She knows that mommy is planning for a big celebration on her 7th birthday next year.  For this year, she knows that there will be special cupcakes mommy will order and party bags to be brought and distributed to her classmates in school.

My husband and I are very lucky to have kids who are so easy to please and whose understanding of things, considering that they are only 4 and 6, are unbelievably out of this world.  They are happy and content with simple things.  We are so proud of them.

So I am sticking to my words.  No party this year.  I don’t want my kids to get used to elaborate celebrations, spending and materialism.  They have to know the meanings in everything that we do in life.  No matter how simple things seem to be, there is always deep lessons to learn and values to instill to our young kids.

“I Am Ready For Motherhood…”

By: Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan

Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan was a colleague in Nokia Philippines.   She was working for Project Documentation while I was in the Legal Department working in coordination with their team.  I like Marge’s personality – one who has a ready smile all the time on her face.  Marge shares with us her experience as a first-time mom.  Thank you and welcome to Lovely Moms Marge!

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I did not want to have a baby right after I got married. A lot of things were going for me at the time and I thought having a baby could wait for a little while.

When I and hubby finally decided to settle down ( He was working in Jakarta and I was working in Dubai ) , the first priority was to have a baby ! I felt like I was more than ready to take on the challenges of  motherhood. I was ready to be a mother.

I  would say motherhood starts even before the baby is delivered. Pregnancy is sort of a prelude to  all the bigger tasks that being a mom entails. You have to learn how to take care of yourself  and be very careful and cautious about what you eat. Even before you give birth , you already have this responsibility to make sure that the baby   is getting the nourishment  while in your womb. The motherhood instinct is already there. And I felt it.

When  I gave birth to my baby, my joy  was so immense that until now, I don’t think I could ever articulate the exact feeling that overcame me the first time I gazed at  my child. I was teary-eyed and it was an emotional moment and it will always be an understatement to say that “I was so excited…” or “ I was so happy…”

But motherhood is not all about joy and happiness alone. It comes with it great deal of sacrifices and responsibility. I guess I always knew that fact,  thus, the delay in finally deciding to have a baby .  I remember , just after we came back from the hospital, our daily sacrifices began. I had to deal with countless sleepless nights which only ended when my Muna turned 8 weeks-old.  Only by then  she can  sleep long stretch during the night. I tell you, when your baby cries nonstop and you barely had one hour of sleep  , the joy and excitement turn into tension. I even recall snapping at my hubby a number of times *blush*blush*blush*

Of course I had all the support from my in-laws and my parents who all wanted to take care of me and the newborn. But for whatever reason, I tend to detest and reject all their well-meaning advices. Even their encouragement about breastfeeding my baby sounded so negative at the time. Blame it on the  engorged milk ducts and sore nipples and  not to mention the fluctuating hormones . I am just so glad that despite my reluctance , I obeyed all the advices .  Now, I am  breastfeeding Muna.

All the things I needed to learn as a mom like changing her diaper, bathing her properly, and carefully clothing her came to me like I have already been doing them before. Again, mother instinct ;)  I also try to read as much as I can about parenting and childcare. I frequent relevant websites and read informative blogs. They all come in handy especially for a first-time mom like me who doesn’t have any house help .

I am so lucky that my job has always been  as an external contractor.  That gave me the choice to just sign up for a contract until the month before my due date. This also gave me the liberty to really be hands-on with my baby even just during  her first three months. I believe that mother’s care is always the best.  If given a choice, I would want to be the one to look after her 24/7.  Unfortunately, I am already reporting back to work next week. I know  it is going to be a very  challenging  thing for me but I believe it’s do-able.  However challenging it is, I am up for it.

Maybe, that is what I will write about the next time I blog—the challenges and apprehensions of a working mom and how I manage to find work and life balance. :-)