Before you finally give-in to your child’s request of buying him or her that motorola mc55 or any other mobile phone just because almost everyone in his class have it; there are several things that you have to consider whether or not you are going to get your child a mobile phone. Among these considerations include:

• Safety and security of your child. Is it safe to bring a mobile phone in school or you are simply risking your child’s life because the phone might get stolen and could traumatize him.
• Responsibility. Is your teenager responsible enough to know how to take care of the mobile phone and avoid losing it? You need to make sure that your child can stick with the call and texting plan because it may cost you a lot of money.
• Health. Some teenagers sleep very late just because they text their friends until wee hours. This could have a negative effect in their overall health in the long run.

There is no denying it, kids can’t resist playgrounds. But before the little ones enjoy the see-saw, slides and monkey bars like those found in connecticut jungle gyms; moms should these playground safety tips. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. So while your little ones are busy in the playground, moms should:

• Stay alert and attentive all the time. As much as possible avoid too much socializing with other moms.
• Inform the kids on what playground equipment they are allowed to play around. There are age appropriate equipment, direct your kids to the ones suitable to their age.
• Check out for playground hazards, look for sharp edges, nails and broken glasses.

Most families have both parents who are working to meet the financial needs. But moms are the ones expected to choose the right daycare for their child. If you are one of those working moms, whether you are a simple factory worker or one of those US Business Lawyers; you would still  need to find the right daycare to keep your child busy while you are at work, here are some tips that may help you choose the right daycare:

• Talk to other parents who put their kids in a daycare. It is best to speak with parents whose kids avail of the daycare services, in this manner you would know whether it will fit your standards or not.
• Find a daycare that is after the safety of the kids, check whether the furniture and fixtures are child-proof such as tables with round corners and non-toxic toys.
• Check whether the child-staff ratio is okay. There may be too many children in the daycare and inadequate number of staff to take care of them.

About the Author:  Roni Roxas is a single parent who committed herself to her kids whole-heartedly.  She strives hard every single day of her life working and earning a living in any possible and dignified way she can.  She is a mother to Justice (19), on Jury (18), Judge turned (17) Judiciary 15.

We had a single mother-guest in LMC before.  Roni is another one willing to share her story.  I love sharing stories that are encouraging for women.  Being a single parent does not make a person insufficient.  Strangely, and more often than not, being alone in a fight for life can convert a person to an unbelievably strong individual, not only in faith but in their passion for life.  I admire women like Roni.

Come, read her story.

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Single motherhood works for me for I don’t need to have so much division with my time.  I just divide my time for my children and work and chores.  Of course there are disadvantages and advantages, but as for now, I am enjoying the life where I have to decide on my own.

It’s not easy to survive especially that I have 4 children.  It gives me head ache.  It causes me sleepless nights.  I don’t have a stable job.  Here in the Philippines stable job earns only half of what I need.  Perhaps it will suffice to pay my rent only.   I have few works where I earn extra income, like sewing, retail selling, singing and catering.  Still what I earn is always not enough.  I hope someday, I can have a small business of my own.
Being a single parent confronts me with physical challenges as well.  BAWAL MAGKASAKIT (I am not allowed to get sick!).  That is the rule.  If I get sick, I cannot work and I can’t afford to buy food to set on the table.   Emotionally and spiritually, I always make sure that I hang on to the Lord for he is my companion for better or worse.

I can say that being a single mom was harder when my kids were still toddlers.  It was really a daily battle and struggle. Now that they are grown ups, they are well adjusted and they can help around the house.

On parenthood:  Being a parent is hard, yet rewarding.  You need to sacrifice a lot, even your own happiness just for your children.  You need to be strong and to be their light.  You need to make sure that you understand them.  I don’t believe in generation gap.  I guess parents need to get out of their way to see what is the world out there so they can see it in their children’s eyes.  You cannot protect your children if you don’t know what is out there.

Life is a learning process, you only stop learning if you die.  There is always something new every day.  A new challenge.  A new battle.  In life, there are things that come your way that you think you cannot bear.  But as time goes by and think about the past you will just realize that you did it courageously and triumphantly.

The most important thing I’ve learned regarding relationship is that you cannot fully know a person if the communication is not open.  If your partner does not tell you everything then, it is not a relationship worth living. Communication is very important.  I guess a relationship will sail smoothly if there is an open communication.

Someday, I want to find love again.  I don’t like to grow old alone.  But I guess I need to make sure my children are agreeable and the person that I will love is okay for them.  I don’t like to be inside a situation where there will be fights and tensions.  I don’t deserve that.

For my children, I want them to be happy all the time.  They deserve it as well.  Whatever life they choose I just hope they are happy and that they will love each other no matter what.  In my mind and in my heart…in my journey as a single parent…I hope that all the lessons and values I inculcate in them will live and bring them thru forever.

It’s Ivana’s school holiday until she comes back to school in January 28.  She is so excited to start 1st grade.  Meantime, she wants to enjoy my company and do things that we both love doing.

There are lots of ideas I have in mind on how to make the most of our time together.  Among the activities we have on the list are:

*Shopping of course!   How can two girls like us refuse the temptation?  Although, we are both very thrifty when it comes to things we buy or spend on.  We also make sure that what we buy are the things that we really need.  They must be of reasonable price and good quality.

*Swimming.  Since it is summer here in Australia we are planning to have several days in the pool to practice with her swimming lessons and exercises.

*Go to the beach.  This is not necessarily to swim but to enjoy the sand, sand castles, views, food and friends.

*Go to the park and scoot and have a picnic.  She’ll scoot.  I will be in-charge of the picnic.

*Watch movies!

I and Ivana also love to hang out in our favorite Pool Cafe or the Coffee Club.  She indulges herself with milk shakes or baby-ccino while reading a book.  I love my ever favorite cappuccino while relaxing my mind from my usual hectic days.

IN 2007, IVANA CELEBRATED HER BIRTHDAY IN A COFFEE SHOP IN PERTH WITH MAMA, PAPA and ALVIN and a mini CHOCOLATE CAKE!

I always believe that the way you raise your kids will influence the way they think until they get old.

I have nothing against kids’ birthday parties.   They, for sure, are tons of fun!   Honestly, I love them, but, when I was a kid, I wouldn’t whinge to my parents to have one.  I just want to share some of my views that might give you the idea that we do not necessarily spend a fortune in throwing parties.  But as long as we are on the right track financial-wise that is fine.  Nothing can beat the joy and happiness that our kids would have in events like this.  That is priceless.

I came from a family where birthday parties were not a common yearly event.  Our special day will be filled with memories of simple gifts from dad and mom and a cake and ice cream.  Although there were few times our parents gave us birthday parties at home, it never really get into us that parties are necessary or important.  Birthdays for us in the family are special days to give thanks and praises to the One who brought us here.

When my kids started to go to pre-school and primary school, what I do every year on their birthdays is bring cakes and loot bags for their classmates.  They are given to them during the afternoon recess.  That marks the celebration.  A Sunday before or after their birthdays I always emphasize especially to my daughter (because she’s a bit older than her brother and she understands better) that we say a special ‘thank you’ prayer for another wonderful year and birthday.  My kids’ birthdays were usually celebrated with a nice dinner with the whole family.  These were made special by the gifts they receive on that day as well.

Ivana had only one birthday party, and that was when she turned 1.  She doesn’t even remember anything anymore about that occasion.  In our family, it is a tradition that we hold a celebration or party on the 1st, 7th, 18th (girl)/21 (boy) birthdays.  For us, those are the important milestones in young people’s lives.

There were several parties Ivana had attended this year.  It is because she has more friends now that she is in kindergarten.  I know she secretly wish that there will be a birthday party on her 6th birthday next week (November 24).

Last week, early in the morning, I found a hand-made invitation that Ivana wrote for one of her friends in school.  It says:  “Dear Elizabeth, You are invited to a pretend birthday party in my house on Saturday.”  Oh that broke my heart.  But shall I give in and let her throw a party? No.  She knows that mommy is planning for a big celebration on her 7th birthday next year.  For this year, she knows that there will be special cupcakes mommy will order and party bags to be brought and distributed to her classmates in school.

My husband and I are very lucky to have kids who are so easy to please and whose understanding of things, considering that they are only 4 and 6, are unbelievably out of this world.  They are happy and content with simple things.  We are so proud of them.

So I am sticking to my words.  No party this year.  I don’t want my kids to get used to elaborate celebrations, spending and materialism.  They have to know the meanings in everything that we do in life.  No matter how simple things seem to be, there is always deep lessons to learn and values to instill to our young kids.

By: Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan

Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan was a colleague in Nokia Philippines.   She was working for Project Documentation while I was in the Legal Department working in coordination with their team.  I like Marge’s personality – one who has a ready smile all the time on her face.  Marge shares with us her experience as a first-time mom.  Thank you and welcome to Lovely Moms Marge!

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I did not want to have a baby right after I got married. A lot of things were going for me at the time and I thought having a baby could wait for a little while.

When I and hubby finally decided to settle down ( He was working in Jakarta and I was working in Dubai ) , the first priority was to have a baby ! I felt like I was more than ready to take on the challenges of  motherhood. I was ready to be a mother.

I  would say motherhood starts even before the baby is delivered. Pregnancy is sort of a prelude to  all the bigger tasks that being a mom entails. You have to learn how to take care of yourself  and be very careful and cautious about what you eat. Even before you give birth , you already have this responsibility to make sure that the baby   is getting the nourishment  while in your womb. The motherhood instinct is already there. And I felt it.

When  I gave birth to my baby, my joy  was so immense that until now, I don’t think I could ever articulate the exact feeling that overcame me the first time I gazed at  my child. I was teary-eyed and it was an emotional moment and it will always be an understatement to say that “I was so excited…” or “ I was so happy…”

But motherhood is not all about joy and happiness alone. It comes with it great deal of sacrifices and responsibility. I guess I always knew that fact,  thus, the delay in finally deciding to have a baby .  I remember , just after we came back from the hospital, our daily sacrifices began. I had to deal with countless sleepless nights which only ended when my Muna turned 8 weeks-old.  Only by then  she can  sleep long stretch during the night. I tell you, when your baby cries nonstop and you barely had one hour of sleep  , the joy and excitement turn into tension. I even recall snapping at my hubby a number of times *blush*blush*blush*

Of course I had all the support from my in-laws and my parents who all wanted to take care of me and the newborn. But for whatever reason, I tend to detest and reject all their well-meaning advices. Even their encouragement about breastfeeding my baby sounded so negative at the time. Blame it on the  engorged milk ducts and sore nipples and  not to mention the fluctuating hormones . I am just so glad that despite my reluctance , I obeyed all the advices .  Now, I am  breastfeeding Muna.

All the things I needed to learn as a mom like changing her diaper, bathing her properly, and carefully clothing her came to me like I have already been doing them before. Again, mother instinct  I also try to read as much as I can about parenting and childcare. I frequent relevant websites and read informative blogs. They all come in handy especially for a first-time mom like me who doesn’t have any house help .

I am so lucky that my job has always been  as an external contractor.  That gave me the choice to just sign up for a contract until the month before my due date. This also gave me the liberty to really be hands-on with my baby even just during  her first three months. I believe that mother’s care is always the best.  If given a choice, I would want to be the one to look after her 24/7.  Unfortunately, I am already reporting back to work next week. I know  it is going to be a very  challenging  thing for me but I believe it’s do-able.  However challenging it is, I am up for it.

Maybe, that is what I will write about the next time I blog—the challenges and apprehensions of a working mom and how I manage to find work and life balance.

I had fun two days ago when I and the kids started to pot the plants that we bought from the plant nursery last week.  Gardening is a good activity for kids to get into.  Aside from the fact that it is something useful and resourceful to do, kids can also have lots of enjoyment digging the soil, putting in the plants, putting fertilizers or plant foods and watering them.

We planted flowers like petunias and blue palace.  I love the mixture of different colors.  In the photo is a sample of the one we potted.  I can’t wait for the blue ones to bloom.

I used to plant a lot when I was a kid.  It was like a hobby to me.  I remember all the fruits and vegetables that our family used to have in the front yard.  I especially love the sweetcorns (they looked beautiful), watermelons, eggplants, tomatoes, okras, chilies, bitter melons, buckchoys (pechay), etc.

The good thing with gardening is not only the aesthetic part of it (especially with the flowers), but the economic benefits you can get in harvesting the flowers, fruits and vegetables instead of buying them.

I felt so excited after we finished gardening.  I feel so good whenever I looked at my plants healthy and beautiful – that’s the consolation from it.  I can’t wait until I put my strawberry plants in our front garden together with all the herbs growing in there.

Gardening is a good and relaxing activity for moms.  I think I am getting back to my old hobby.

Ivana with best friend Nikita

Social skills and emotional development are very important aspects of our kids’ personality and upbringing.  The way they mingle with others say a lot about their individuality as well as family background.

My daughter Ivana is a shy little girl.  At age five,  I can tell that she is an eloquent person but needs a bit of push when it comes to socializing with not-so-familiar faces or people she just met.  Her confidence though bounces back as she becomes comfortable with the person after a short period of time.  On the other hand, my three year old son can easily utter “Hi, hello, how are you?  Good?” in a very confident manner even with strangers (that is, if he’s in the mood).

Kids’ personalities vary in the same way that we, adults, are all different.  It is noteworthy though that social and emotional skills should be developed and nurtured during their early years.

One of the most exciting milestones for our kids is the day they start school.  This is where their social skills will start to develop.  This is when they learn how to express their emotions in various ways.  They need to learn how to cope up with a bigger world, that is, outside home.  They will realize that they need to be independent and be able to do things on their own, or ask others for help if needed, away from home and family.

What are the ways to help improve our kids’ social and emotional skills and make sure that they are on the right track?

*Encourage and support your kid and let her know that you are always there to help her if there are things that she thinks she needs your help.

*Make your child responsible at home by giving her chores that she can do all by herself without your assistance.  Of course she may need instructions from you at the beginning.  Once she realize that she can do things on her own and her help is appreciated, that will give her a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

*Involve your kids in play group.  A play group could be a bunch of kids from neighborhood or kids of your parent-friends.  This is a good socialization not only for your kids but for yourself as well.

*Teach your kids the value of friendship.  Loving and caring for friends can be expressed in simple gestures like sharing toys and spending time to play and have fun together.  Teaching your kids that keeping healthy and happy relationship with their friends is very important makes them more sensitive to others’ needs and feelings.

Bear in mind that in everything that our children experience, it is always the parental and family support, love and understanding that mold them into beautiful and strong persons that we want them to be.  As they say, the key to raising a responsible, smart and loving child is to shower him with love – unconditional love, that is.

I remember more than a year ago when I was reminded by my sister-in-law to inquire at the parish school nearby.  Ivana was just about to turn five and it was not in my thoughts that I needed to get ready for her kindergarten.  Oh how time flies.  All of a sudden my baby was few months away from big school.

Here are some pointers that I can give moms, especially moms who are sending their first child.  Tips from those who had experience already are always helpful.

*Think about the convenience as to distance and availability of transportation.  Choose from the schools located within your town, suburb, municipality or city.

*Decide on whether you want to send your kid to a private or public school;

*From among those schools, choose at least few alternative options;

*Set an appointment for parent & child interview or book for application for enrollment;

*During the parent and child interview with the Principal or school administration, be analytical about the school’s curriculum and academic goals for their students.  These are usually discussed by the Principal or school head during the interview.  Don’t hesitate to ask questions on other matters like security in the campus, student’s activities, grading system and school policies.

*School security is one thing that should concern parents.  It is good to ask how parents or relative of students can gain access to the campus.  If the school’s policies on this is strict, the better for your child.

*It is definitely alright to ask about the amount of annual school fees and terms of payment.

*If the principal will show you around or if you get a chance to roam around the campus, you will have a peek of the environment and gives you sufficient basis to judge if the environment is one that you would like your child to be in.

One of the scariest sights a first time mom can have is the sight of her baby having difficulty breathing.  This might be caused by colds, runny nose and congested or blocked nostrils.

I was one in this situation.  It scared me.  It was so worrisome.  The fact that I have asthma and finds myself grasping for breathe during my attacks gave me a real scare thinking that my baby is feeling the same.  Thank God though it was a mere nasal congestion due to colds and not asthma.  My baby was just few months old at that time.

For first time moms, make sure that you always have saline solution in your first aid kit.  This is a solution that can be brought over the counter.  My sister bought me a saline solution ‘Salinase Drops’ for my baby.  And I tell you, that was the most wonderful thing that I used for my baby to be able to relieve her nasal congestion.  Also make sure that you have the nasal aspirator or suction that you need to help clean the blockage in the baby’s nose after a minute of administering saline solution.

Procedure: Make sure that the baby is lying down and movement restricted.  This is to make sure that saline drops will be directed to the nose.  Put a couple of drops for each side of the nose.  Wait for a minute to make sure that blockage had soften and ready for cleaning.  Use nasal aspirator to clean all the dirt in the nose.  Use cotton buds to make sure that the nose is thoroughly cleaned.  Administer saline solution as often as needed.  This will do no harm to your baby.

To read related article and review click here.

I was at the hospital coffee shop yesterday prior to my husband’s appointment with his speech therapist and regular infusion.  There are shelves of second-hand books in there which caught my attention.

I am a book worm ever since I was a kid.  I bought three books and one of them is ‘Gifted Children:  The Challenge Continues’ (A Guide For Parents and Teachers), edited by Angelica Jacob and Graham Barnsley.  This book was published by the New South Wales Association for Gifted and Talented Children.  It is a very interesting book which I intend to discuss by pieces in several articles here at LMC.

When I picked up Alvin at kindie around 3:30 pm, his teacher and the day care manager talked to me and discussed to me about Alvin’s behaviour at kindie.  He is not very fond mingling with other kids.  He is a very intelligent young boy but they are concern about his social skills.  Honestly, it is the same concern that I have for the last five months.

Since Ivana started big school in January, Alvin became more clingy to me.  His separation anxiety came back in the same way as he was when he’s much younger.  It was a huge change and adjustment for Alvin, first, to be separated from Ivana in schooling; second, to be separated from Ivana in swimming lesson as well; third, the sudden shift from nappy to under pants which is part of his potty training.

Sounds like merely ‘small things’ for us adults, aren’t they?  But for a young boy, they are issues that need to be addressed and taken into consideration.

Alvin’s teacher is concerned about his social skills, but she also emphasized that Alvin is different from other kids in a sense that his intellect is more advanced compared to other kids his age.

A little bit more about Alvin:  He started recognizing words at age 2.  He memorized the alphabet and counted up to 100 at age 2.5.  His sharp memory of letters and images and word association enabled him to spell words at age 2; these are words that are not simple for a 2-year old boy, like: light, shade, slide, orange, strawberry, rocket, alphabet, train etc.  At age 3.5 he already knows how to read simple sentences and write words on his own.  He also already knows to differentiate simple shapes and geometric shapes like hexagon, octagon, pentagon etc.  He is also good in re-telling stories.  He loves singing as well as dancing.

Read related and helpful article:  http://lovely-moms-cafe.com/2009/08/02/my-future-spelling-bee-champions/

Alvin’s teacher opined that Alvin ‘might’ be a gifted child and that they might need to adjust their program to suit his needs.  She suggested that I bring Alvin to the clinic at the hospital where children are brought for assessment to be able to know if he is in the bracket or norm as a ‘gifted child’.  She said that the assessment will help them, as well as me as a parent, to adjust and meet Alvin’s needs.  The clinic also teaches the parents how to handle gifted children.

For me, whether Alvin is gifted or not does not really matter.  What’s important is that he’ll grow healthy and a good person.  It is a matter of understanding how I can help him nurture his intellect, skills and talents and teach him how to use those gifts responsibly.  Having him as my son and the joy that raising him and Ivana brings to my life is already a precious gift indeed.

It is a very common problem among parents dealing with kids who are very fussy about food.  The most difficult thing about it is that kids may opt not to eat enough during every meal.  The worries of parents are never ending as it is apparent that many kids who are fussy do not meet the nutritional requirements that their body need during their growing years.

From preparing foods that are attractive, to experimenting on tasty, colorful and interesting ingredients, parents’ effort does not always turn successful.  It is so frustrating seeing our kids not eating the way they should and the way we want them to eat.

If you have fussy kids who do not eat much, it is of utmost important to bring them for regular check with your family doctor or pediatrician.  A prescription of multivitamins is also a good idea.  You can always ask your doctor on which multivitamins he recommends that will boost your kids’ appetite.

It is also very important to observe healthy food choices at home.   Get junk food out of the pantry!  If you are keeping cookies, biscuits, lollies and the like to give your kids as treats once in rare occasions, make sure to keep them out of their sight and reach. The more they see these food, the more they crave for it.

I have tried all these on my son Alvin and he is doing really well for the last couple of months now.  His appetite has completely changed and he is starting to try other food and develop discipline when it comes to the food that he needs to eat at a certain meal time.

I am thankful that my daughter Ivana has very good eating habits.  Her food choices are also smart.

Parents MUST show their kids that eating healthy does not necessarily mean eating boring and not so tasty food.  Vegetables and fruits, cereals, protein rich food, etc. should be introduced as part of the family’s diet from the time the kids start eating solid food.  For me, it’s all about getting used to what they are eating and knowing what’s good for them.

“I wondered what would lead me to mom’s heart…”  What an innocent thought that led me to believe mom did not love me at all whenever she was upset.  A pleaser as I was, I would usually do house chores and show off.  I was thinking “Yes, this is the way to please mom and make her happy”.  In the most innocent world of a child, seeing mom shifted from being upset to a light mood made me happy as well.  I knew everything was well and back  to routine.

As I confirm my innocent thought “Where’s the way to mom’s heart?…” I was brought back to awe and amuse myself on how my kids make my heart tender in every little thing that they do.  But the truth is, their mere presence makes my heart glow and fuel me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  What else can I ask for?  What can a mother of two beautiful kids wish for?

Giving birth to two beautiful souls have made me complete as a woman.  A mother’s conception to an innocent soul creates a link that is immovable from her heart to this soul’s heart.  The connection between a mother and a child is created from the time they were united physically in the womb.  No amount of upset moods and nagging of a mother can take that connection away between them.

Moms, can you hear and feel me?  Is not it amazing how the lessons of motherhood made us realize so many things that we ourselves were asking when we were little?  I think the spirit of Mother’s Day is sinking in me this early.

Reminiscing…..

Regardless of whether you are a first time mom or not, it is very important to keep yourself organized before and after giving birth.  But for first time moms though, I assure you that this post will give you more ideas that you need to make your life more manageable when your baby arrives.

The tips on what to get organized for the coming of your baby in my article entitled “Baby Checklist For Soon-To-Be-Moms” will surely provide you more ideas.

When I got pregnant with my first,  I started buying cloth nappies, white or neutral colored singlets, baby towels, bibs, bottles, steamers etc. as early as the fourth month.  For some, this might be too early, but I can say that it was just the right time.  By the time I approached my seventh and eight month I still felt like the time was not enough to organize everything.  At seventh month I have already organized the entire room with baby cot/bed and all the baby’s things were in place.

When my daughter came, everything seemed to be organized.  With my sister, mom and dad with me in the house, I was able to manage really well.  I realized that the most important thing that a new mom like me needed at that point in time was the love and support from my own family.  With them around, every bit of my daily routine with my daughter was so manageable.

Elders always say that when the new-born baby is asleep mother should take that opportunity to sleep as well or take a rest.  Most of the times I did that, especially during the first few months of the baby.  But since I was also breastfeeding, I also used the time to pump much breast milk while the baby is asleep.  I bottled the milk and put them in the fridge.  When the baby wakes up, my sister or my mom can feed the baby with the bottled breast milk while I do some other things like laundry or tidying up.  If nobody’s around to assist me, I can feed the baby while the bottle was leaned on a side ‘hotdog’ pillow and at the same time I can move around, keeping my eyes on the baby, and do something like organizing things inside the room.

It is very important to calendar errands and appointments where you need to leave the baby at home.  The best thing to do of course is to find someone to look after the baby on that particular day.  Giving the carer at least a couple of days notice will give you an assurance that someone will be there while you are away.  If I had to go to the bank or to my appointment with the ob-gynecologist  my sister or my mom always made sure that they have no appointment to meet or nowhere to go to at the same day.

It is also wise to do most of the things that you can do whenever you get the opportunity to get a carer and leave the baby at home.  After every visit with my ob-gynecologist, I used to do my banking, grocery shopping, or go to the salon to give myself a nice hair wash and head massage, dye and haircut, or go to my dentist for some procedures.  By the time I get home, which was almost afternoon, I was so glad and thankful that I made the most out of the few hours I spent outside home.

Most moms can hardly manage to eat on time.  True?  But the thing is eating your meals on time, aside from eating good and nutritious food that will boost your energy, is what makes us moms going and going and going.  It is a good idea to have easy-to-prepare recipes which will not take too much of our time.  One of my favorites is a ham or chicken caesar salad sandwich.  I consider them a complete meal considering that there’s protein, carbohydrates and lots of fiber in it.  You can even prepare this in advance, in the morning, while the baby is still asleep, put them in the fridge and reheat them at lunch time or afternoon tea time, or eat them as is.  Aside from having rest or nap whenever we can, eating adequately is our way of recharging and keeping ourselves healthy and strong.

Babies are demanding of our time until their first couple of years but at the end of the day parents usually are amazed by themselves on how they were able to manage everything.  I have been there and I know how it was like.  Even now that Ivana is 5 and Alvin is 3, I can say that the demands are still the same BUT more manageable.  I am starting to think sometimes that I have become a parenting expert in my own right, and, oh well, in my own space and home.

I had a parents-teacher interview at kindie last Thursday.  It was intended to discuss with parents the development so far of the kids since they started attending preschool.  It was a one-on-one discussion and interview between the teacher and parents.

I was more than satisfied and happy with the way Alvin is developing in terms of intelligence:  numeracy and letter recognition, shapes, colors; motor skills; social skills, etc.  As compared to the time Alvin started kindie last January, he is now able to express himself much clearer in terms of words.  He is now very interested in singing and dancing.  He is brilliant when it comes to spelling.  This also includes word recognition which makes him remember that a certain word reads as such.  His memory is amazing for a two year old.  Please read related story that will give you hints on how to help your kids improve in spelling, word recognition, and help them get more interested in learning while having fun!

The teacher told me “We are trying to come up with new activities for Alvin so that he won’t get bored.  Maybe something that will challenge him more mentally.”  Although I don’t see Alvin getting bored with what he does everyday, I always wonder if he really will ever get bored of all this learning activities.  The thing is, it seems like for Alvin learning is a play and he is really having fun with it, which is really good.  Some parents might worry though if their kids are enjoying to learn and study and missing play to the point that they are missing a huge percentage of how their childhood should be.

Alvin fixing the bed and side table early in the morning. Isn't he so sweet?

The best thing for parents to remember is that we should come up with all sorts of activities for our kids.   There must always be an activity where they can express their talents and playful selves.  It should not always be serious like doing homeworks all the time or reading books and studying.  For Alvin and Ivana, they have their weekly swimming lessons.  Ivana is also asking me to enrol her in dance classes which I definitely will.

Raising my kids is becoming more and more challenging to me each day as a parent.  There is something to look forward to everyday.  It is also an exciting experience when we discover something new with our kids’ abilities or skills.  Just have a look at my Alvin who surprised me with how good (not perfect though) he can fix mama and papa’s bed!

How challenging is raising kids for you?  Share your experiences and joy in parenting and raising your beautiful angels.  See you around lovely moms!

I am so delighted to share to all of you parents this wonderful educational show that I and my kids watch regularly.

Word World is an educational show in Play House Disney Channel.  It is very entertaining that even parents like me enjoy watching.  The main concept of the show is to put all the letters that constitute a word.  Those letters when put together form the thing that they refer to.  For example, the letters F-I-S-H were put together, side by side, and form into a fish shape.  Get it?  Thus, making the show more visual as well for kids to remember the word, the thing, and the correct spelling.

This is a very clever show.  Hope you all have access to this channel in your respective countries.  I record all the episodes so that my kids can watch them over and over again.  They love watching Word World which is good because they are having fun while at the same time they are learning.

My 2-year old Alvin can now spell the following words:  Guitar, drum, book, pig, lamp, horn, pie, rocket, cookie, moon,tuba, ant, star, slide, frog, dog…and he is learning more everyday.  My kids love Word World.  It is very educational and interactive as well.

Mathe with the three gorgeous men in her life.

Coming to the UK is a milestone in my life, most especially as a mother. I was doing great in the Philippines. I was working full time and was finishing my Masters through online education. I was active in church work and at least a year prior to our departure for the UK, I was a single mother in the sense that I was managing on my own, my hubby being here working already as a Mobile Radiographer.

I thought I had it all covered: on the home front, career, continuing education, and my duties as a Christian. Well, I had a maid, which made it all so much easier for me. But I was doing everything else at home except wash clothes and tidy up the whole place. I was cooking every meal, doing the marketing, and “managing” my boys’ schooling – whatever that meant.

My last job there was as an Executive Assistant to the Chief of Party of an USAID-funded Family Planning project. I travelled at least two hours to work and then another two hours back. I normally left for work at 6:00 am. By that time I would have already cooked our breakfast, my hubby’s and my eldest son’s packed lunches, lunch at home for the youngest boy and the maid and even planned for or prepared their afternoon snack, when the eldest gets home from school. I did that everyday.

During weekends, it was writing my school work, going to the market and the grocery store and church work that I did. It was like that every weekend.

The kids were my priority but I had a life as a career woman and as a student. It was a great life for me. I managed. I thought I was doing great, actually. I mean, I had it all under control.

When I got to the UK, I came to realize just how shallow and uneventful my brand of mothering was. Here, I am the maid, and laundrywoman, and cook, and even the occasional nanny to some friends’ kids (for free) who have no choice but to dump their children on me when they needed to (I almost couldn’t turn down anyone, unless it was really impossible for me).

For a good seven months upon our arrival here, I was unemployed. Being the obsessive-compulsive person that I am, I made it a point during that time to be excellent in keeping the house tidy, preparing the meals and running the home. And I still make it a point to do the same now that I am already working, albeit part-time.

Alongside that overriding desire to be excellent in homemaking during that seven-month period, I had to contend with feelings of insecurity, self-pity and despondency for being dependent on my hubby (for the first time ever in our marriage), not having my own money, for being unemployed and for being plucked out of my comfortable world in the Philippines. I felt so rotten then.

There were times when I would yell at my kids: “I am not your maid! Tidy up your mess!” And then after that brief moment of madness, I would realize that I was their maid actually. They grew up having a maid all the time. They were used to having someone pick up things after them, give them what they needed or look for missing toys or school stuff. I spoiled them in that sense and I realized that time that it was my own doing that I was being subjected to unpaid labour as a maid.

My life as a mom in the UK is so much different from what I was used to. Here, I can’t afford to be sick or unwell. I can’t  not wash  the dishes because if I did, the washing will pile up and I have no one to blame. I cannot tidy up the house because there is no one else to do it and if it isn’t that tidy or clean, I freak out. And freaking out moms in the UK just won’t do.

On the 8^th month after I arrived here, I finally got hired as a part time clerk in our hospital, where tens of Filipino nurses are also employed. Being employed part-time gives me the freedom to look after my family and keep the home running efficiently. I do everything, as in everything, with the hubby lending a helping hand only occasionally.

When the boys are a little older, I intend to look for a fulltime job. Here, I might just be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a published writer, or earn my PhD, or learn more foreign languages as part of my self-improvement program. All in God’s perfect time. Meanwhile, I wait and do my best and live my life as a happy mother.

Somehow, I learned to adjust my expectations from life when I got here in the UK. Coming here was a most humbling experience and for that, I am very thankful to the Lord. Here, I was forced to reassess my worth as a person. Am I still a person with dignity even without money of my own? Can I still be a good mother while I am also ranting and raving and screaming mad for all the work that I need to do? Can I still be proud of my education and hard work in improving myself even as I am employed in a job that I would normally think as “beneath me”? These are only some of the questions that I asked and to all, I have learned that the answer is “Yes”.

I had to change my point of reference to gauge if I was doing great as a mother. Am I still okay even if my little boy went to school in a creased shirt? Can I still claim my title as a home goddess (something that I though myself to be before) even when I can see that there is dust on the furniture everywhere? Again, I have learned that a great mother is one by heart. It is not only the things that I do (though they are important as well), but the things that I am that endear me to my family. I love them fiercely and even if I fail in so many ways, they know that my life is being spent on making them happy.

Here in the UK, I met a totally different mother in myself and I quite like who she is.

(Note:  Mathe is a former classmate in Law School.  Matters of the heart took over and she quit Law during our first year (1995) and went on to marry the love of her life. We lost touch after that and, surprise of all surprises, we found each other again in cyberspace early this year.

In 2007, Mathe joined her husband in the UK who was working there as a Mobile Radiographer. They have two boys aged 13 and 8. They hope to settle there for good if everything goes to plan.

You can read more of Mathe’s writings in her very own websites HotMomma and Pinoys Around The World.)

Today, I received a welcome letter from St. Mary’s School accepting my application for my daughter’s primary schooling which will start January next year.  Ivana is so excited but I doubt if she’s got an idea on how excited I am as well.

My excitement however is mixed up with a feeling of nervousness as I realized that my daughter will start ‘big school’ soon.  This is the beginning of a new chapter in her life; more exposure to the outside world.  I am starting to feel this heart of mine jumping out of my body.  I am sure parents understand how I am feeling but I can’t wait to see her in her uniform and am really looking forward to her first day in school.

I am starting to imagine how it would be like for me teaching her homework and do activities with her in school specially during the parent involvement activities there.  I just wish I can be a good teacher as I was to all those little kids I used to teach when I was in grade school until the time I started teaching college students.

My hubby is also very excited and he can’t wait to see Ivana in her school uniform.

I have two friends who are expecting to give birth in August this year.  They are both first time moms.  Their hubbies are so excited for the coming of their first baby.

Looking back, when I was expecting Ivana, I was very organized with everything I needed.  From baby clothes, nappies and upto the bottles, sterilizers and the like.  I have two other sisters who were already moms at that time, and so I got lots of help in preparing for that most awaited day.

Here in LMC, I will provide a checklist, especially for first time moms.  I got this checklist from my favourite shop in Manila and it was very helpful to have this and get ready for everything.  This is a complete list, but you don’t necessarily need all of the things mentioned here.  It’s good to have an idea though on what to purchase and get ready with.

FOR SLEEPING:  BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES: Crib bassinet, mattress cabinet, chest with drawers, changing table, mosquito net, lamp, fitted sheets, comforters, water proof sheets, lap pads, mattress coverings, crib blankets, bolster cases, clothes hamper, diaper stacker, hangers, thermometer, baby monitor, diaper pail, vaporizer/humidifier, crib bumpers, pillows, bolsters, pillow cases

AFTER THE BABY ARRIVES:  Pajama sets/frog suits, sleeveless shirts, short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, abdominal binders, mittens, bonnets/caps, gauze, diaper liners, disposable diapers, socks/booties, bibs, receiving blankets

FOR LEARNING:  Crib toys, crib mobile, musical toys, rattles, parenting/baby books, musical/educational CDs/DVDs/VCDs/VHS/Casette tapes

FOR CARING:  BATHING & GROOMING:  Bath tub, rubber mat, sponge, wash cloth, basin, bath thermometer, organizer tray, mild soap, liquid bath soap, baby shampoo, baby powder, baby oil, baby alcohol, baby lotion, baby cream, baby cologne, petroleum jelly, diaper ointment, diaper rash powder, mosquito repellant, baby wipes, cotton swab, cotton balls, finger toothbrush, nasal aspirator, nail cutter, soap case/powder case, bath toys/squeeze toys, baby hair brush, hooded bath towels

BOTTLE FEEDING:  4oz nursers, 8oz nursers, silicon nipples, milk containers, cups & rings, bottle brush, nipple brush, bottle warmer, sterilizing tong, sterilizer, sterilizer rack, bottle keeper/holder

BREASTFEEDING:  Breastpump, nursing pads, nipple cream, nipple shield, breastfeeding pillows

FOR PLAYING:  OUTDOOR ACCESSORIES & ASSORTED TOYS FOR PLAYTIME:  Carrier, Car seat, head support pad, car and go bag, stroller, nursery bag/bottle bag, changing pad, stroller pad, portable crib/play pen, portabed, insulated bottle keeper, high chair, soft bite spoon, plate warmer, baby bowl, training cups, food maker, stroller toys, activity/educational toys

The aforementioned items are needed from the time the baby was born and some are useful even until toddler years.  Keep this list and pass it to your friends who are pregnant or first time moms…they will surely be happy to be reminded.