Ivana with best friend Nikita

Social skills and emotional development are very important aspects of our kids’ personality and upbringing.  The way they mingle with others say a lot about their individuality as well as family background.

My daughter Ivana is a shy little girl.  At age five,  I can tell that she is an eloquent person but needs a bit of push when it comes to socializing with not-so-familiar faces or people she just met.  Her confidence though bounces back as she becomes comfortable with the person after a short period of time.  On the other hand, my three year old son can easily utter “Hi, hello, how are you?  Good?” in a very confident manner even with strangers (that is, if he’s in the mood).

Kids’ personalities vary in the same way that we, adults, are all different.  It is noteworthy though that social and emotional skills should be developed and nurtured during their early years.

One of the most exciting milestones for our kids is the day they start school.  This is where their social skills will start to develop.  This is when they learn how to express their emotions in various ways.  They need to learn how to cope up with a bigger world, that is, outside home.  They will realize that they need to be independent and be able to do things on their own, or ask others for help if needed, away from home and family.

What are the ways to help improve our kids’ social and emotional skills and make sure that they are on the right track?

*Encourage and support your kid and let her know that you are always there to help her if there are things that she thinks she needs your help.

*Make your child responsible at home by giving her chores that she can do all by herself without your assistance.  Of course she may need instructions from you at the beginning.  Once she realize that she can do things on her own and her help is appreciated, that will give her a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

*Involve your kids in play group.  A play group could be a bunch of kids from neighborhood or kids of your parent-friends.  This is a good socialization not only for your kids but for yourself as well.

*Teach your kids the value of friendship.  Loving and caring for friends can be expressed in simple gestures like sharing toys and spending time to play and have fun together.  Teaching your kids that keeping healthy and happy relationship with their friends is very important makes them more sensitive to others’ needs and feelings.

Bear in mind that in everything that our children experience, it is always the parental and family support, love and understanding that mold them into beautiful and strong persons that we want them to be.  As they say, the key to raising a responsible, smart and loving child is to shower him with love – unconditional love, that is.

Here are some pointers that I can give moms, especially moms who are sending their first child.  Tips from those who had experience already are always helpful.

*Think about the convenience as to distance and availability of transportation.  Choose from the schools located within your town, suburb, municipality or city.

*Decide on whether you want to send your kid to a private or public school;

*From among those schools, choose at least few alternative options;

*Set an appointment for parent & child interview or book for application for enrollment;

*During the parent and child interview with the Principal or school administration, be analytical about the school’s curriculum and academic goals for their students.  These are usually discussed by the Principal or school head during the interview.  Don’t hesitate to ask questions on other matters like security in the campus, student’s activities, grading system and school policies.

*School security is one thing that should concern parents.  It is good to ask how parents or relative of students can gain access to the campus.  If the school’s policies on this is strict, the better for your child.

*It is definitely alright to ask about the amount of annual school fees and terms of payment.

*If the principal will show you around or if you get a chance to roam around the campus, you will have a peek of the environment and gives you sufficient basis to judge if the environment is one that you would like your child to be in.

I was one in this situation.  It scared me.  It was so worrisome.  The fact that I have asthma and finds myself grasping for breathe during my attacks gave me a real scare thinking that my baby is feeling the same.  Thank God though it was a mere nasal congestion due to colds and not asthma.  My baby was just few months old at that time.

For first time moms, make sure that you always have saline solution in your first aid kit.  This is a solution that can be brought over the counter.  My sister bought me a saline solution ‘Salinase Drops’ for my baby.  And I tell you, that was the most wonderful thing that I used for my baby to be able to relieve her nasal congestion.  Also make sure that you have the nasal aspirator or suction that you need to help clean the blockage in the baby’s nose after a minute of administering saline solution.

Procedure: Make sure that the baby is lying down and movement restricted.  This is to make sure that saline drops will be directed to the nose.  Put a couple of drops for each side of the nose.  Wait for a minute to make sure that blockage had soften and ready for cleaning.  Use nasal aspirator to clean all the dirt in the nose.  Use cotton buds to make sure that the nose is thoroughly cleaned.  Administer saline solution as often as needed.  This will do no harm to your baby.

To read related article and review click here.

I am a book worm ever since I was a kid.  I bought three books and one of them is ‘Gifted Children:  The Challenge Continues’ (A Guide For Parents and Teachers), edited by Angelica Jacob and Graham Barnsley.  This book was published by the New South Wales Association for Gifted and Talented Children.  It is a very interesting book which I intend to discuss by pieces in several articles here at LMC.

When I picked up Alvin at kindie around 3:30 pm, his teacher and the day care manager talked to me and discussed to me about Alvin’s behaviour at kindie.  He is not very fond mingling with other kids.  He is a very intelligent young boy but they are concern about his social skills.  Honestly, it is the same concern that I have for the last five months.

Since Ivana started big school in January, Alvin became more clingy to me.  His separation anxiety came back in the same way as he was when he’s much younger.  It was a huge change and adjustment for Alvin, first, to be separated from Ivana in schooling; second, to be separated from Ivana in swimming lesson as well; third, the sudden shift from nappy to under pants which is part of his potty training.

Sounds like merely ’small things’ for us adults, aren’t they?  But for a young boy, they are issues that need to be addressed and taken into consideration.

Alvin’s teacher is concerned about his social skills, but she also emphasized that Alvin is different from other kids in a sense that his intellect is more advanced compared to other kids his age.

A little bit more about Alvin:  He started recognizing words at age 2.  He memorized the alphabet and counted up to 100 at age 2.5.  His sharp memory of letters and images and word association enabled him to spell words at age 2; these are words that are not simple for a 2-year old boy, like: light, shade, slide, orange, strawberry, rocket, alphabet, train etc.  At age 3.5 he already knows how to read simple sentences and write words on his own.  He also already knows to differentiate simple shapes and geometric shapes like hexagon, octagon, pentagon etc.  He is also good in re-telling stories.  He loves singing as well as dancing.

Read related and helpful article:  http://lovely-moms-cafe.com/2009/08/02/my-future-spelling-bee-champions/

Alvin’s teacher opined that Alvin ‘might’ be a gifted child and that they might need to adjust their program to suit his needs.  She suggested that I bring Alvin to the clinic at the hospital where children are brought for assessment to be able to know if he is in the bracket or norm as a ‘gifted child’.  She said that the assessment will help them, as well as me as a parent, to adjust and meet Alvin’s needs.  The clinic also teaches the parents how to handle gifted children.

For me, whether Alvin is gifted or not does not really matter.  What’s important is that he’ll grow healthy and a good person.  It is a matter of understanding how I can help him nurture his intellect, skills and talents and teach him how to use those gifts responsibly.  Having him as my son and the joy that raising him and Ivana brings to my life is already a precious gift indeed.

From preparing foods that are attractive, to experimenting on tasty, colorful and interesting ingredients, parents’ effort does not always turn successful.  It is so frustrating seeing our kids not eating the way they should and the way we want them to eat.

If you have fussy kids who do not eat much, it is of utmost important to bring them for regular check with your family doctor or pediatrician.  A prescription of multivitamins is also a good idea.  You can always ask your doctor on which multivitamins he recommends that will boost your kids’ appetite.

It is also very important to observe healthy food choices at home.   Get junk food out of the pantry!  If you are keeping cookies, biscuits, lollies and the like to give your kids as treats once in rare occasions, make sure to keep them out of their sight and reach. The more they see these food, the more they crave for it.

I have tried all these on my son Alvin and he is doing really well for the last couple of months now.  His appetite has completely changed and he is starting to try other food and develop discipline when it comes to the food that he needs to eat at a certain meal time.

I am thankful that my daughter Ivana has very good eating habits.  Her food choices are also smart.

Parents MUST show their kids that eating healthy does not necessarily mean eating boring and not so tasty food.  Vegetables and fruits, cereals, protein rich food, etc. should be introduced as part of the family’s diet from the time the kids start eating solid food.  For me, it’s all about getting used to what they are eating and knowing what’s good for them.

As I confirm my innocent thought “Where’s the way to mom’s heart?…” I was brought back to awe and amuse myself on how my kids make my heart tender in every little thing that they do.  But the truth is, their mere presence makes my heart glow and fuel me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  What else can I ask for?  What can a mother of two beautiful kids wish for?

Giving birth to two beautiful souls have made me complete as a woman.  A mother’s conception to an innocent soul creates a link that is immovable from her heart to this soul’s heart.  The connection between a mother and a child is created from the time they were united physically in the womb.  No amount of upset moods and nagging of a mother can take that connection away between them.

Moms, can you hear and feel me?  Is not it amazing how the lessons of motherhood made us realize so many things that we ourselves were asking when we were little?  I think the spirit of Mother’s Day is sinking in me this early.

Reminiscing…..

The tips on what to get organized for the coming of your baby in my article entitled “Baby Checklist For Soon-To-Be-Moms” will surely provide you more ideas.

When I got pregnant with my first,  I started buying cloth nappies, white or neutral colored singlets, baby towels, bibs, bottles, steamers etc. as early as the fourth month.  For some, this might be too early, but I can say that it was just the right time.  By the time I approached my seventh and eight month I still felt like the time was not enough to organize everything.  At seventh month I have already organized the entire room with baby cot/bed and all the baby’s things were in place.

When my daughter came, everything seemed to be organized.  With my sister, mom and dad with me in the house, I was able to manage really well.  I realized that the most important thing that a new mom like me needed at that point in time was the love and support from my own family.  With them around, every bit of my daily routine with my daughter was so manageable.

Elders always say that when the new-born baby is asleep mother should take that opportunity to sleep as well or take a rest.  Most of the times I did that, especially during the first few months of the baby.  But since I was also breastfeeding, I also used the time to pump much breast milk while the baby is asleep.  I bottled the milk and put them in the fridge.  When the baby wakes up, my sister or my mom can feed the baby with the bottled breast milk while I do some other things like laundry or tidying up.  If nobody’s around to assist me, I can feed the baby while the bottle was leaned on a side ‘hotdog’ pillow and at the same time I can move around, keeping my eyes on the baby, and do something like organizing things inside the room.

It is very important to calendar errands and appointments where you need to leave the baby at home.  The best thing to do of course is to find someone to look after the baby on that particular day.  Giving the carer at least a couple of days notice will give you an assurance that someone will be there while you are away.  If I had to go to the bank or to my appointment with the ob-gynecologist  my sister or my mom always made sure that they have no appointment to meet or nowhere to go to at the same day.

It is also wise to do most of the things that you can do whenever you get the opportunity to get a carer and leave the baby at home.  After every visit with my ob-gynecologist, I used to do my banking, grocery shopping, or go to the salon to give myself a nice hair wash and head massage, dye and haircut, or go to my dentist for some procedures.  By the time I get home, which was almost afternoon, I was so glad and thankful that I made the most out of the few hours I spent outside home.

Most moms can hardly manage to eat on time.  True?  But the thing is eating your meals on time, aside from eating good and nutritious food that will boost your energy, is what makes us moms going and going and going.  It is a good idea to have easy-to-prepare recipes which will not take too much of our time.  One of my favorites is a ham or chicken caesar salad sandwich.  I consider them a complete meal considering that there’s protein, carbohydrates and lots of fiber in it.  You can even prepare this in advance, in the morning, while the baby is still asleep, put them in the fridge and reheat them at lunch time or afternoon tea time, or eat them as is.  Aside from having rest or nap whenever we can, eating adequately is our way of recharging and keeping ourselves healthy and strong.

Babies are demanding of our time until their first couple of years but at the end of the day parents usually are amazed by themselves on how they were able to manage everything.  I have been there and I know how it was like.  Even now that Ivana is 5 and Alvin is 3, I can say that the demands are still the same BUT more manageable.  I am starting to think sometimes that I have become a parenting expert in my own right, and, oh well, in my own space and home.

I was more than satisfied and happy with the way Alvin is developing in terms of intelligence:  numeracy and letter recognition, shapes, colors; motor skills; social skills, etc.  As compared to the time Alvin started kindie last January, he is now able to express himself much clearer in terms of words.  He is now very interested in singing and dancing.  He is brilliant when it comes to spelling.  This also includes word recognition which makes him remember that a certain word reads as such.  His memory is amazing for a two year old.  Please read related story that will give you hints on how to help your kids improve in spelling, word recognition, and help them get more interested in learning while having fun!

The teacher told me “We are trying to come up with new activities for Alvin so that he won’t get bored.  Maybe something that will challenge him more mentally.”  Although I don’t see Alvin getting bored with what he does everyday, I always wonder if he really will ever get bored of all this learning activities.  The thing is, it seems like for Alvin learning is a play and he is really having fun with it, which is really good.  Some parents might worry though if their kids are enjoying to learn and study and missing play to the point that they are missing a huge percentage of how their childhood should be.

Alvin fixing the bed and side table early in the morning. Isn't he so sweet?

The best thing for parents to remember is that we should come up with all sorts of activities for our kids.   There must always be an activity where they can express their talents and playful selves.  It should not always be serious like doing homeworks all the time or reading books and studying.  For Alvin and Ivana, they have their weekly swimming lessons.  Ivana is also asking me to enrol her in dance classes which I definitely will.

Raising my kids is becoming more and more challenging to me each day as a parent.  There is something to look forward to everyday.  It is also an exciting experience when we discover something new with our kids’ abilities or skills.  Just have a look at my Alvin who surprised me with how good (not perfect though) he can fix mama and papa’s bed!

How challenging is raising kids for you?  Share your experiences and joy in parenting and raising your beautiful angels.  See you around lovely moms!

Word World is an educational show in Play House Disney Channel.  It is very entertaining that even parents like me enjoy watching.  The main concept of the show is to put all the letters that constitute a word.  Those letters when put together form the thing that they refer to.  For example, the letters F-I-S-H were put together, side by side, and form into a fish shape.  Get it?  Thus, making the show more visual as well for kids to remember the word, the thing, and the correct spelling.

This is a very clever show.  Hope you all have access to this channel in your respective countries.  I record all the episodes so that my kids can watch them over and over again.  They love watching Word World which is good because they are having fun while at the same time they are learning.

My 2-year old Alvin can now spell the following words:  Guitar, drum, book, pig, lamp, horn, pie, rocket, cookie, moon,tuba, ant, star, slide, frog, dog…and he is learning more everyday.  My kids love Word World.  It is very educational and interactive as well.

Mathe with the three gorgeous men in her life.

Coming to the UK is a milestone in my life, most especially as a mother. I was doing great in the Philippines. I was working full time and was finishing my Masters through online education. I was active in church work and at least a year prior to our departure for the UK, I was a single mother in the sense that I was managing on my own, my hubby being here working already as a Mobile Radiographer.

I thought I had it all covered: on the home front, career, continuing education, and my duties as a Christian. Well, I had a maid, which made it all so much easier for me. But I was doing everything else at home except wash clothes and tidy up the whole place. I was cooking every meal, doing the marketing, and “managing” my boys’ schooling – whatever that meant.

My last job there was as an Executive Assistant to the Chief of Party of an USAID-funded Family Planning project. I travelled at least two hours to work and then another two hours back. I normally left for work at 6:00 am. By that time I would have already cooked our breakfast, my hubby’s and my eldest son’s packed lunches, lunch at home for the youngest boy and the maid and even planned for or prepared their afternoon snack, when the eldest gets home from school. I did that everyday.

During weekends, it was writing my school work, going to the market and the grocery store and church work that I did. It was like that every weekend.

The kids were my priority but I had a life as a career woman and as a student. It was a great life for me. I managed. I thought I was doing great, actually. I mean, I had it all under control.

When I got to the UK, I came to realize just how shallow and uneventful my brand of mothering was. Here, I am the maid, and laundrywoman, and cook, and even the occasional nanny to some friends’ kids (for free) who have no choice but to dump their children on me when they needed to (I almost couldn’t turn down anyone, unless it was really impossible for me).

For a good seven months upon our arrival here, I was unemployed. Being the obsessive-compulsive person that I am, I made it a point during that time to be excellent in keeping the house tidy, preparing the meals and running the home. And I still make it a point to do the same now that I am already working, albeit part-time.

Alongside that overriding desire to be excellent in homemaking during that seven-month period, I had to contend with feelings of insecurity, self-pity and despondency for being dependent on my hubby (for the first time ever in our marriage), not having my own money, for being unemployed and for being plucked out of my comfortable world in the Philippines. I felt so rotten then.

There were times when I would yell at my kids: “I am not your maid! Tidy up your mess!” And then after that brief moment of madness, I would realize that I was their maid actually. They grew up having a maid all the time. They were used to having someone pick up things after them, give them what they needed or look for missing toys or school stuff. I spoiled them in that sense and I realized that time that it was my own doing that I was being subjected to unpaid labour as a maid.

My life as a mom in the UK is so much different from what I was used to. Here, I can’t afford to be sick or unwell. I can’t  not wash  the dishes because if I did, the washing will pile up and I have no one to blame. I cannot tidy up the house because there is no one else to do it and if it isn’t that tidy or clean, I freak out. And freaking out moms in the UK just won’t do.

On the 8^th month after I arrived here, I finally got hired as a part time clerk in our hospital, where tens of Filipino nurses are also employed. Being employed part-time gives me the freedom to look after my family and keep the home running efficiently. I do everything, as in everything, with the hubby lending a helping hand only occasionally.

When the boys are a little older, I intend to look for a fulltime job. Here, I might just be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a published writer, or earn my PhD, or learn more foreign languages as part of my self-improvement program. All in God’s perfect time. Meanwhile, I wait and do my best and live my life as a happy mother.

Somehow, I learned to adjust my expectations from life when I got here in the UK. Coming here was a most humbling experience and for that, I am very thankful to the Lord. Here, I was forced to reassess my worth as a person. Am I still a person with dignity even without money of my own? Can I still be a good mother while I am also ranting and raving and screaming mad for all the work that I need to do? Can I still be proud of my education and hard work in improving myself even as I am employed in a job that I would normally think as “beneath me”? These are only some of the questions that I asked and to all, I have learned that the answer is “Yes”.

I had to change my point of reference to gauge if I was doing great as a mother. Am I still okay even if my little boy went to school in a creased shirt? Can I still claim my title as a home goddess (something that I though myself to be before) even when I can see that there is dust on the furniture everywhere? Again, I have learned that a great mother is one by heart. It is not only the things that I do (though they are important as well), but the things that I am that endear me to my family. I love them fiercely and even if I fail in so many ways, they know that my life is being spent on making them happy.

Here in the UK, I met a totally different mother in myself and I quite like who she is.

(Note:  Mathe is a former classmate in Law School.  Matters of the heart took over and she quit Law during our first year (1995) and went on to marry the love of her life. We lost touch after that and, surprise of all surprises, we found each other again in cyberspace early this year.

In 2007, Mathe joined her husband in the UK who was working there as a Mobile Radiographer. They have two boys aged 13 and 8. They hope to settle there for good if everything goes to plan.

You can read more of Mathe’s writings in her very own websites HotMomma and Pinoys Around The World.)

My excitement however is mixed up with a feeling of nervousness as I realized that my daughter will start ‘big school’ soon.  This is the beginning of a new chapter in her life; more exposure to the outside world.  I am starting to feel this heart of mine jumping out of my body.  I am sure parents understand how I am feeling but I can’t wait to see her in her uniform and am really looking forward to her first day in school.

I am starting to imagine how it would be like for me teaching her homework and do activities with her in school specially during the parent involvement activities there.  I just wish I can be a good teacher as I was to all those little kids I used to teach when I was in grade school until the time I started teaching college students.

My hubby is also very excited and he can’t wait to see Ivana in her school uniform.

Looking back, when I was expecting Ivana, I was very organized with everything I needed.  From baby clothes, nappies and upto the bottles, sterilizers and the like.  I have two other sisters who were already moms at that time, and so I got lots of help in preparing for that most awaited day.

Here in LMC, I will provide a checklist, especially for first time moms.  I got this checklist from my favourite shop in Manila and it was very helpful to have this and get ready for everything.  This is a complete list, but you don’t necessarily need all of the things mentioned here.  It’s good to have an idea though on what to purchase and get ready with.

FOR SLEEPING:  BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES: Crib bassinet, mattress cabinet, chest with drawers, changing table, mosquito net, lamp, fitted sheets, comforters, water proof sheets, lap pads, mattress coverings, crib blankets, bolster cases, clothes hamper, diaper stacker, hangers, thermometer, baby monitor, diaper pail, vaporizer/humidifier, crib bumpers, pillows, bolsters, pillow cases

AFTER THE BABY ARRIVES:  Pajama sets/frog suits, sleeveless shirts, short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, abdominal binders, mittens, bonnets/caps, gauze, diaper liners, disposable diapers, socks/booties, bibs, receiving blankets

FOR LEARNING:  Crib toys, crib mobile, musical toys, rattles, parenting/baby books, musical/educational CDs/DVDs/VCDs/VHS/Casette tapes

FOR CARING:  BATHING & GROOMING:  Bath tub, rubber mat, sponge, wash cloth, basin, bath thermometer, organizer tray, mild soap, liquid bath soap, baby shampoo, baby powder, baby oil, baby alcohol, baby lotion, baby cream, baby cologne, petroleum jelly, diaper ointment, diaper rash powder, mosquito repellant, baby wipes, cotton swab, cotton balls, finger toothbrush, nasal aspirator, nail cutter, soap case/powder case, bath toys/squeeze toys, baby hair brush, hooded bath towels

BOTTLE FEEDING:  4oz nursers, 8oz nursers, silicon nipples, milk containers, cups & rings, bottle brush, nipple brush, bottle warmer, sterilizing tong, sterilizer, sterilizer rack, bottle keeper/holder

BREASTFEEDING:  Breastpump, nursing pads, nipple cream, nipple shield, breastfeeding pillows

FOR PLAYING:  OUTDOOR ACCESSORIES & ASSORTED TOYS FOR PLAYTIME:  Carrier, Car seat, head support pad, car and go bag, stroller, nursery bag/bottle bag, changing pad, stroller pad, portable crib/play pen, portabed, insulated bottle keeper, high chair, soft bite spoon, plate warmer, baby bowl, training cups, food maker, stroller toys, activity/educational toys

The aforementioned items are needed from the time the baby was born and some are useful even until toddler years.  Keep this list and pass it to your friends who are pregnant or first time moms…they will surely be happy to be reminded.

Lovely Mom 'Deng' w/ the only 'man' in her life Reign

“It was an event that made a tremendous change in my life.  I consider it as a big turn which made me strive more in life than just go on with the flow.  Now I’m struggling with my chosen career because I know that a little kid’s future is at stake and his bright future depends hugely on me.

I had a second thought before, if I will keep my baby or not.  I didn’t know what life is ahead of us. It was an unexpected pregnancy and I was forced to resign from work to avoid gossips because of my condition.  There was no night that I stopped shedding tears.  I felt that no one will help me not even my family except myself. I had no work then. I was slowly using my savings for our daily needs.  I was losing all the hope that I have.  But as I felt his heartbeat, I realized that life is growing inside me and I needed to be strong for him.  I’ll face all the battles in life just for my baby.  I became optimistic that I can do everything for my son and somehow we will survive. 

I really needed to start from nothing since I lost everything, my job, my savings and my family.  The only thing that was left for me is my son who gave me all the reason to live, to be courageous, faithful… 

Searching for a job at that time was just impossible.  There was nobody to attend to my son.  I was fortunate enough that my sister who sought to work abroad needed somebody to attend to her children while she’s away.  So I took care of her kids for a fee.  When my son was already one year old I started looking for a new job since our expense is increasing and my baby is old enough to be left at home with his nanny. 

Every single day was a battle for survival.  I worked from one company to another trying to find for a more promising career and high salary job. We were able to survive our battles. 

My son Reign is quickly growing as he is 4 now, and turning to be a happy child without any trace of our struggles before. Presently, I enjoy working in my chosen profession.  Hopefully, one day, I will attain all my dreams for me and my son.”

Editor’s note:  Rodenna “Deng” Punzalan, 37, works as Paralegal Marlow Navigation Philippines, Inc.

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Tisya & daughter Hannah....

“being the first born she had all the privileges that her dad can afford. and being the first born she wished there will be no second birth but of course it didn’t happen…comes the dad junior. well up to now she resent having a baby brother who is not a baby anymore but pretending to be one.

at kindergarten she cries and yells everyday as in everyday and doesn’t want to be left with her teachers and for the record im the longest staying mom inside the classroom at a given time. who would think that she will be one of the brightest kids in her batch? she even won in bible quiz bee and spelling quiz bee at the age of 3. she graduated top2 but received 5 medals, more than the top1 received during grad day…..well I don’t know who can explain it hhmmmm…

at the age of three she knows more than bible story than i can remember and more than fairy tale stories that i’ve read. she really loves reading books..she even won in a poster making about god’s creation at that age…  matalino talaga, kanino kaya nagmana? (really intelligent, I wonder where she got that from) of course her dad would claim that it his genes.

her elementary years were never different,,,she’s always on top of her class. ONLYher dress sizes made the BIGGEST difference and she blamed it all to me because im also BIG, ganun (is that so)?

hey ! dont blame me for being sentimental…..she’s now in her freshman. everyday she’s been with the mirror longer than you can imagine, she have her own Friendster account and have more friends than i have she’s texting like mad ….tetetetetetexting ting ting,singing,singing,singing gang sumakit ang ulo ko (until I get a headache) seriously ,,,,,looking at her makes me a proud mom, she’s growing graciously and smarter everyday btw she’s now in the overall top1 slot in her school and defeated the freshmen and juniors during their school quizbee..yabang ko no?? (conceited me, hey?) well………

now that im no longer the stay at home mom that i used to be,i guess she misses it. one time she even told me she wanted me to resign from my work so i will be home most of the time na touch talaga ako (I was really touched) ……so by january i’ll be “home” again. btw the ‘baby brother”wants me to work pra daw maraming money (so that there would be more money he said) and the fight begins again…”

I dropped Ivana the other day in school.  When we arrived there, all the kids were outside on the playground.  I gave Ivana a kiss and a big hug before I left her as I said “I will see you later baby, have  a nice day”.  “Have a nice day too mama, I love you”, she said with her angelic voice as I walked away.  I sat in my car infront of the gate where I can see her.  I stayed there for about 20 minutes just watching her.  She was just standing there watching the other kids play.  Her best friend did not come that day and so I can tell she felt alone.  Ivana is a quiet type of girl, she observes a lot, she is always hesitant to approach other kids, she prefers that other kids approach her, and when they do she feels so shy as if she will melt.  Isn’t it that as kids we are afraid to be rejected by other people?  I can tell she can feel this sometimes as she have told me few times that the girls in school did not like her clothes or her shoes, but I wonder if what she meant was they did not like her.

And so for almost 20 minutes I was watching her and the sight of her alone standing there without anybody approaching her made me so emotional.  I cried.  I can see myself in her when I was a kid and I have experienced feelings of rejection so many times.  I knew inside me I was a good kid, generous, helpful…but why is it that kids like me did not find me interesting.  I felt like I was living in a world like an invisible object.  That was sad, and I do not want my kids to experience the same.

As parents, it is very important that we make our kids feel accepted, loved, and that they are beautiful in every way.  It is very good that we shower them with compliments whenever they are doing something good or they accomplish something that makes them really proud.  The fact that there were lots of times I was not given compliments as a child had a huge effect in my self-esteem which I am still carrying now that I am already an adult.  My parents were not very vocal about their love for me and my siblings; they are the type of parents who can’t even say the words “I love you” to their kids.  That fact though did not make them any less before my eyes, but made me realize instead how people are really different in so many ways.

I left school that day and drove home…the tears were not flowing anymore, but I felt so relieved with the realization that I can be a better parent and a mother.  There’s always room for improvement and lessons to learn from experience.

Lovely mom Pep with Seth & Psalm

(Editor’s note: Pep, a stay-at-home mom and a mother of two beautiful kids, is an online English teacher.  She’s one of the tough moms I personally know.  This woman has a very strong personality which I personally believe will bring her to a very bright future with her family.  She’s one person I have never had a chance to get to know more than 29 years ago until we bumped into each other again ’online’ last year.  Now, I consider her one of my dearest friends and will always keep her in my life and close to my heart no matter how far we are from each other.  Read her story.)

Indeed, God truly knows the desires of my heart. When I was in still in College taking up a course in Hotel and Restaurant Management, I’ve always admired some teachers of mine who were very articulate in the English language. Secretly, I wished to teach someday – I imagined being good at English as I really wanted to be fluent like them. I told no one about this dream. Not even my best friend or my parents. And guess what?! I am presently a tutor in English.

When I got married and became a mother of two girls, I had to give up the hectic schedules in the restaurants where I used to work. I’ve decided to focus my time and energy to my being a mother. Happily at the same time, I was hooked in my church as a volunteer in the Sunday school.

After a few years, my angels started schooling. I was eager to work again. So, I tried working in Call Centers. The trainings I had were fantastic! But sadly, I became stressed with the working condition– handling irate calls, dealing with graveyard schedules and difficulty sleeping during daytime. So I opted to apply elsewhere as an English tutor.

I’m now working home based as an English tutor online and also teaching one to one basis in a prominent village in Alabang, Muntinlupa City, Philippines. I have no doubt ever since I started in this job that this is a good and perfect gift from God. I have never experienced this kind of balance in my life with my past jobs. It’s the only job I know that allows me to spend more time with my family.

Editor’s note:  Ms. Pepper Canedo can be contacted via teacher_pepp@hotmail.com or you can catch her in Skype where she conduct her tutorial classes.  Her Skype ID is pepperken1431.

The first symptom of a child getting spoiled is when he started sprawling on the floor, crying and screaming, when he doesn’t get what he wants.  This is the child’s way of controlling the situation and getting that power to manipulate the parents.  So the main issue here is ‘power’.  Unspoiling a child with already an attitude like this does not happen overnight though.  Consistency is needed in the way the parents handle the situation and disciplining the child.

No matter how much though your child has become spoiled, there is always a possibility to discipline and raise your child the way you want.  This will all depend on the child’s age, openness to change, and your consistency during the process.

It is very important, at all times, to let the child know that there are house rules he need to adhere to.  Parents should also explain well to the child that breaking the rules will result to a consequence.  Rules may cover the following areas of discipline:  When and how long a child can watch the television;  what time should the child should eat meal; what time does the child need to do homework; when is the time to reward the child or buy a toy for good behaviour and for accomplishing something; what time is bedtime, etc.

In disciplining your child and imposing houserules, success will depend on how consistent you are as parents.  It is worthy to mention too that being a model to our kids play an important factor in rearing a well disciplined child.

My day usually starts 10 minutes before 5am when I need to prepare breakfast for my husband.  I sometimes still take a short nap after he leaves, then wake up perhaps after 30 minutes to start working around the house.  I need to do as much as I can while kids are still asleep.

My son Alvin wakes up early at around 6:30-7:00.  Then, it’s time for me to stop whatever I am doing and get myself busy with him, prepare his breakfast, feed him, change his nappy, give him a wash and dress him up.  Once  Ivana wakes up a little bit later, I set her breakfast and leave her on the table where she finish brekky and clean the table all by herself after.  Then, I wash Ivana and dress her up as well.

While the kids are playing and/or watching early television programs, I am already busy preparing packed lunch for Alvin because he doesn’t sometimes eat the food in the daycare (kindie).  He loves my pastina with lots of parmiggiano cheese and a bit of butter.  I prepare the kids’ bags and then I bring them to kindie.

After I leave the kids at kindie, I go straight to Coles and buy whatever I need for dinner.  I also go to the bank, post office, do some mystery shopping assignments if I have one scheduled on that day, then go back home and do house chores.

Doing house chores is not just doing house chores really, but, doing house chores while my computer is on.  If I need to write a report about my mystery shopping assignment or write articles, then, I have to do that in between house chores.  Being at home and working online at the same time gives me a lot of stress especially when I have deadlines to meet and I can’t neglect the house.

Most of the times, what I do is, I set the alarm clock for one hour to doing house chores, then when the alarm gets off I work in my computer and set the alarm for half an hour.  When the alarm goes again I go back to my chores and set the alarm for one hour again.  This way I use my time alternately doing chores and work.  Besides, I feel that I make use of my time wisely this way…anyway, the work in the washing machine and clothes dryer, as well as the cooking in the oven, are still going even if I seat on my online work for half an hour.

Though this sounds stressful, it is the most effective way for me to multi-task and accomplish more within a day.  I am just not sure though if this will work for others.

Advantage:  Multi-tasking, if carried out with careful planning and time management will be very effective  in making sure that everything will be accomplished in due time.  This also allows a determined mom to accomplish more in a day and allot the remaining time of the day all for herself.  Accomplishing more makes us moms very productive and gives us feeling of fulfillment, enjoyment and happiness.

Disadvantage:  This can put a mom to a very stressful situation.  There are times when we need to multi-task due to too much load of work in a day.  Moms who are not used to it but need to do it may experience stress.  Stress can cause mom to get frustrated if the task doesn’t get finished in time, thus causing more negative feelings.

The best way, whether you are a multi-tasker or not, is to be wise in alloting and scheduling time to do specific tasks.  Nothing beats a well organized person.  Multi-tasking works for me and knowing that I can be a multi-tasking mom somehow makes me proud of myself…  Cheers to all moms!

But what would a stay-at-home mom make decide to send her little kids to kindie?  There are lots of advantages in sending your kids to kindie.  I first decided to send my 2 year old daughter more than two years ago to the nearby kindie for her to socialize with other kids.  That was the main reason I sent her to kindie.  Socialization is very important for kids where they learn how to mingle with other kids, get involved in physical activities, and nurture their mental and emotional intelligence.

My daughter Ivana used to be a ‘cry-baby’ when she was two.  I was a little bit worried that she might not get along with other kids and just cry at kindie the whole day.  But ignoring my over-sensitivity and worries I still enrolled her to kindie with the main objective of bringing out the best in her.  Now, at age 4, she is a confident, smart little girl who is just too excited to start big school next year.  She is also good now in alphabets, numbers, singing, dancing, drawing, painting, and the like.

I was amazed by how the teachers and carers at the centre look after the kids, discipline them and teach them in various activities.  They are well-loved and taken care of.  Usually, during the first week at kindie, kids would cry non-stop for their parents.  After that, no more crying and all are just having fun that at the end of the day they would not want to go home anymore.

For full time moms or stay-at-home moms, spending more time for themselves while the kids are at the centre also helps them make their day more productive and enjoyable.

I just had a wonderful day today after I dropped the kids at the centre.  I went for my weekly grocery shopping first.  Then, I did an exciting ‘mystery shopping assignment’ (which I will share to you in my upcoming article).  After that, I went for a nice walk near the beach for 30 minutes.  At 11:30am I had my lunch in front of the television watching my favourite television program.  The rest of the day will just be the usual busy day doing house chores and doing errands.

Now, tell me, who wouldn’t love the idea of bringing kids to a day care centre when you reap all these benefits?

During Christmas when kids were showered by presents and even money as gift, our parents made sure that we turn over our money to them for them to keep it and we can only spend them if the thing that we wanted to buy is worth buying.

By age 11 or 12, we were already allowed to manage our own pocket money.  In school though, we were not given much money to spend but food to bring and eat during recess.

Teaching us how to be responsible in handling money at an early age was not difficult for our parents because my dad was a good teacher and he explained everything to us in very simple words.  Dad said it is not good for kids to get used to money, money, money… because it sends wrong message to kids on how important money is in life.  Too much money can also introduce kids into indulging into materialistic world and can eventually lead to gambling, drugs and alcohol abuse at an early age.  He said that if kids find money very important, kids learn how to be greedy with money and lose interest in studies.

When I used to go to the market with my mom at the very young age of 7, my mom had taught me how important to prioritize on things to buy.  We always go to the food section first.  Of course, I was not allowed to ask for extras like lollies, doughnuts, sweets, toys and the like.  If there will be some money left, mom would usually go to the baker or to the fruit stand to buy some that I and my sibling can share.  We also usually share on small portion of whatever my mom bought for us since we had limited budget.

As the third child in the brood of four, I would always be the second-hand user of my older sister’s clothes, school uniforms, bags, shoes, text books, and other things.  Although as a kid I would be happy to have new ones I had no choice but to benefit from the old ones rather than go to school without anything.  My mom said I am still lucky that I have things to use and wear, while there are other kids with nothing.

Mom had taught us to be always thankful for what we have and make the most out of it. (Read related article)

Indeed, small pieces of lessons and advice we have learned when we were kids would definitely make a big difference on how we handle the situations we are into as grown-ups.

I teach the same lessons and values to my kids now.  With regards to money matters I have started to teach my daughter to save coins in her coin bank.  She gets so excited when it’s already time to unload all her savings and buy the things that she wants. 

I will always remember the first time she made a $75 savings.  She decided to buy the following:  a 24-pack of nappies, a pair of pink shoes, and a dummy for her baby brother.