Category Archives: Parenting Journal

“I Am Ready For Motherhood…”

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on November 15, 2010 None comments

By: Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan

Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan was a colleague in Nokia Philippines.   She was working for Project Documentation while I was in the Legal Department working in coordination with their team.  I like Marge’s personality – one who has a ready smile all the time on her face.  Marge shares with us her experience as a first-time mom.  Thank you and welcome to Lovely Moms Marge!

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I did not want to have a baby right after I got married. A lot of things were going for me at the time and I thought having a baby could wait for a little while.

When I and hubby finally decided to settle down ( He was working in Jakarta and I was working in Dubai ) , the first priority was to have a baby ! I felt like I was more than ready to take on the challenges of  motherhood. I was ready to be a mother.

I  would say motherhood starts even before the baby is delivered. Pregnancy is sort of a prelude to  all the bigger tasks that being a mom entails. You have to learn how to take care of yourself  and be very careful and cautious about what you eat. Even before you give birth , you already have this responsibility to make sure that the baby   is getting the nourishment  while in your womb. The motherhood instinct is already there. And I felt it.

When  I gave birth to my baby, my joy  was so immense that until now, I don’t think I could ever articulate the exact feeling that overcame me the first time I gazed at  my child. I was teary-eyed and it was an emotional moment and it will always be an understatement to say that “I was so excited…” or “ I was so happy…”

But motherhood is not all about joy and happiness alone. It comes with it great deal of sacrifices and responsibility. I guess I always knew that fact,  thus, the delay in finally deciding to have a baby .  I remember , just after we came back from the hospital, our daily sacrifices began. I had to deal with countless sleepless nights which only ended when my Muna turned 8 weeks-old.  Only by then  she can  sleep long stretch during the night. I tell you, when your baby cries nonstop and you barely had one hour of sleep  , the joy and excitement turn into tension. I even recall snapping at my hubby a number of times *blush*blush*blush*

Of course I had all the support from my in-laws and my parents who all wanted to take care of me and the newborn. But for whatever reason, I tend to detest and reject all their well-meaning advices. Even their encouragement about breastfeeding my baby sounded so negative at the time. Blame it on the  engorged milk ducts and sore nipples and  not to mention the fluctuating hormones . I am just so glad that despite my reluctance , I obeyed all the advices .  Now, I am  breastfeeding Muna.

All the things I needed to learn as a mom like changing her diaper, bathing her properly, and carefully clothing her came to me like I have already been doing them before. Again, mother instinct ;)  I also try to read as much as I can about parenting and childcare. I frequent relevant websites and read informative blogs. They all come in handy especially for a first-time mom like me who doesn’t have any house help .

I am so lucky that my job has always been  as an external contractor.  That gave me the choice to just sign up for a contract until the month before my due date. This also gave me the liberty to really be hands-on with my baby even just during  her first three months. I believe that mother’s care is always the best.  If given a choice, I would want to be the one to look after her 24/7.  Unfortunately, I am already reporting back to work next week. I know  it is going to be a very  challenging  thing for me but I believe it’s do-able.  However challenging it is, I am up for it.

Maybe, that is what I will write about the next time I blog—the challenges and apprehensions of a working mom and how I manage to find work and life balance. :-)

Gardening With Kids

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on October 23, 2010 None comments

I had fun two days ago when I and the kids started to pot the plants that we bought from the plant nursery last week.  Gardening is a good activity for kids to get into.  Aside from the fact that it is something useful and resourceful to do, kids can also have lots of enjoyment digging the soil, putting in the plants, putting fertilizers or plant foods and watering them.

We planted flowers like petunias and blue palace.  I love the mixture of different colors.  In the photo is a sample of the one we potted.  I can’t wait for the blue ones to bloom.

I used to plant a lot when I was a kid.  It was like a hobby to me.  I remember all the fruits and vegetables that our family used to have in the front yard.  I especially love the sweetcorns (they looked beautiful), watermelons, eggplants, tomatoes, okras, chilies, bitter melons, buckchoys (pechay), etc.

The good thing with gardening is not only the aesthetic part of it (especially with the flowers), but the economic benefits you can get in harvesting the flowers, fruits and vegetables instead of buying them.

I felt so excited after we finished gardening.  I feel so good whenever I looked at my plants healthy and beautiful – that’s the consolation from it.  I can’t wait until I put my strawberry plants in our front garden together with all the herbs growing in there.

Gardening is a good and relaxing activity for moms.  I think I am getting back to my old hobby.

Nurturing Kids’ Social Skills & Emotional Development

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on August 7, 2010 None comments

Ivana with best friend Nikita

Social skills and emotional development are very important aspects of our kids’ personality and upbringing.  The way they mingle with others say a lot about their individuality as well as family background.

My daughter Ivana is a shy little girl.  At age five,  I can tell that she is an eloquent person but needs a bit of push when it comes to socializing with not-so-familiar faces or people she just met.  Her confidence though bounces back as she becomes comfortable with the person after a short period of time.  On the other hand, my three year old son can easily utter “Hi, hello, how are you?  Good?” in a very confident manner even with strangers (that is, if he’s in the mood).

Kids’ personalities vary in the same way that we, adults, are all different.  It is noteworthy though that social and emotional skills should be developed and nurtured during their early years.

One of the most exciting milestones for our kids is the day they start school.  This is where their social skills will start to develop.  This is when they learn how to express their emotions in various ways.  They need to learn how to cope up with a bigger world, that is, outside home.  They will realize that they need to be independent and be able to do things on their own, or ask others for help if needed, away from home and family.

What are the ways to help improve our kids’ social and emotional skills and make sure that they are on the right track?

*Encourage and support your kid and let her know that you are always there to help her if there are things that she thinks she needs your help.

*Make your child responsible at home by giving her chores that she can do all by herself without your assistance.  Of course she may need instructions from you at the beginning.  Once she realize that she can do things on her own and her help is appreciated, that will give her a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

*Involve your kids in play group.  A play group could be a bunch of kids from neighborhood or kids of your parent-friends.  This is a good socialization not only for your kids but for yourself as well.

*Teach your kids the value of friendship.  Loving and caring for friends can be expressed in simple gestures like sharing toys and spending time to play and have fun together.  Teaching your kids that keeping healthy and happy relationship with their friends is very important makes them more sensitive to others’ needs and feelings.

Bear in mind that in everything that our children experience, it is always the parental and family support, love and understanding that mold them into beautiful and strong persons that we want them to be.  As they say, the key to raising a responsible, smart and loving child is to shower him with love – unconditional love, that is.

Pointers In Choosing Primary School For Your Child

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on May 24, 2010 1 comments

I remember more than a year ago when I was reminded by my sister-in-law to inquire at the parish school nearby.  Ivana was just about to turn five and it was not in my thoughts that I needed to get ready for her kindergarten.  Oh how time flies.  All of a sudden my baby was few months away from big school.

Here are some pointers that I can give moms, especially moms who are sending their first child.  Tips from those who had experience already are always helpful.

*Think about the convenience as to distance and availability of transportation.  Choose from the schools located within your town, suburb, municipality or city.

*Decide on whether you want to send your kid to a private or public school;

*From among those schools, choose at least few alternative options;

*Set an appointment for parent & child interview or book for application for enrollment;

*During the parent and child interview with the Principal or school administration, be analytical about the school’s curriculum and academic goals for their students.  These are usually discussed by the Principal or school head during the interview.  Don’t hesitate to ask questions on other matters like security in the campus, student’s activities, grading system and school policies.

*School security is one thing that should concern parents.  It is good to ask how parents or relative of students can gain access to the campus.  If the school’s policies on this is strict, the better for your child.

*It is definitely alright to ask about the amount of annual school fees and terms of payment.

*If the principal will show you around or if you get a chance to roam around the campus, you will have a peek of the environment and gives you sufficient basis to judge if the environment is one that you would like your child to be in.

Easy Way To Relieve Baby’s Nasal Congestion

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on May 23, 2010 1 comments

One of the scariest sights a first time mom can have is the sight of her baby having difficulty breathing.  This might be caused by colds, runny nose and congested or blocked nostrils.

I was one in this situation.  It scared me.  It was so worrisome.  The fact that I have asthma and finds myself grasping for breathe during my attacks gave me a real scare thinking that my baby is feeling the same.  Thank God though it was a mere nasal congestion due to colds and not asthma.  My baby was just few months old at that time.

For first time moms, make sure that you always have saline solution in your first aid kit.  This is a solution that can be brought over the counter.  My sister bought me a saline solution ‘Salinase Drops’ for my baby.  And I tell you, that was the most wonderful thing that I used for my baby to be able to relieve her nasal congestion.  Also make sure that you have the nasal aspirator or suction that you need to help clean the blockage in the baby’s nose after a minute of administering saline solution.

Procedure: Make sure that the baby is lying down and movement restricted.  This is to make sure that saline drops will be directed to the nose.  Put a couple of drops for each side of the nose.  Wait for a minute to make sure that blockage had soften and ready for cleaning.  Use nasal aspirator to clean all the dirt in the nose.  Use cotton buds to make sure that the nose is thoroughly cleaned.  Administer saline solution as often as needed.  This will do no harm to your baby.

To read related article and review click here.

Gifted Children…The Challenge Continues

Posted by Antoniette Sellaro on May 19, 2010 2 comments

I was at the hospital coffee shop yesterday prior to my husband’s appointment with his speech therapist and regular infusion.  There are shelves of second-hand books in there which caught my attention.

I am a book worm ever since I was a kid.  I bought three books and one of them is ‘Gifted Children:  The Challenge Continues’ (A Guide For Parents and Teachers), edited by Angelica Jacob and Graham Barnsley.  This book was published by the New South Wales Association for Gifted and Talented Children.  It is a very interesting book which I intend to discuss by pieces in several articles here at LMC.

When I picked up Alvin at kindie around 3:30 pm, his teacher and the day care manager talked to me and discussed to me about Alvin’s behaviour at kindie.  He is not very fond mingling with other kids.  He is a very intelligent young boy but they are concern about his social skills.  Honestly, it is the same concern that I have for the last five months.

Since Ivana started big school in January, Alvin became more clingy to me.  His separation anxiety came back in the same way as he was when he’s much younger.  It was a huge change and adjustment for Alvin, first, to be separated from Ivana in schooling; second, to be separated from Ivana in swimming lesson as well; third, the sudden shift from nappy to under pants which is part of his potty training.

Sounds like merely ‘small things’ for us adults, aren’t they?  But for a young boy, they are issues that need to be addressed and taken into consideration.

Alvin’s teacher is concerned about his social skills, but she also emphasized that Alvin is different from other kids in a sense that his intellect is more advanced compared to other kids his age.

A little bit more about Alvin:  He started recognizing words at age 2.  He memorized the alphabet and counted up to 100 at age 2.5.  His sharp memory of letters and images and word association enabled him to spell words at age 2; these are words that are not simple for a 2-year old boy, like: light, shade, slide, orange, strawberry, rocket, alphabet, train etc.  At age 3.5 he already knows how to read simple sentences and write words on his own.  He also already knows to differentiate simple shapes and geometric shapes like hexagon, octagon, pentagon etc.  He is also good in re-telling stories.  He loves singing as well as dancing.

Read related and helpful article:  http://lovely-moms-cafe.com/2009/08/02/my-future-spelling-bee-champions/

Alvin’s teacher opined that Alvin ‘might’ be a gifted child and that they might need to adjust their program to suit his needs.  She suggested that I bring Alvin to the clinic at the hospital where children are brought for assessment to be able to know if he is in the bracket or norm as a ‘gifted child’.  She said that the assessment will help them, as well as me as a parent, to adjust and meet Alvin’s needs.  The clinic also teaches the parents how to handle gifted children.

For me, whether Alvin is gifted or not does not really matter.  What’s important is that he’ll grow healthy and a good person.  It is a matter of understanding how I can help him nurture his intellect, skills and talents and teach him how to use those gifts responsibly.  Having him as my son and the joy that raising him and Ivana brings to my life is already a precious gift indeed.