By: Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan

Marge De Guzman-Ridzlan was a colleague in Nokia Philippines.   She was working for Project Documentation while I was in the Legal Department working in coordination with their team.  I like Marge’s personality – one who has a ready smile all the time on her face.  Marge shares with us her experience as a first-time mom.  Thank you and welcome to Lovely Moms Marge!

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I did not want to have a baby right after I got married. A lot of things were going for me at the time and I thought having a baby could wait for a little while.

When I and hubby finally decided to settle down ( He was working in Jakarta and I was working in Dubai ) , the first priority was to have a baby ! I felt like I was more than ready to take on the challenges of  motherhood. I was ready to be a mother.

I  would say motherhood starts even before the baby is delivered. Pregnancy is sort of a prelude to  all the bigger tasks that being a mom entails. You have to learn how to take care of yourself  and be very careful and cautious about what you eat. Even before you give birth , you already have this responsibility to make sure that the baby   is getting the nourishment  while in your womb. The motherhood instinct is already there. And I felt it.

When  I gave birth to my baby, my joy  was so immense that until now, I don’t think I could ever articulate the exact feeling that overcame me the first time I gazed at  my child. I was teary-eyed and it was an emotional moment and it will always be an understatement to say that “I was so excited…” or “ I was so happy…”

But motherhood is not all about joy and happiness alone. It comes with it great deal of sacrifices and responsibility. I guess I always knew that fact,  thus, the delay in finally deciding to have a baby .  I remember , just after we came back from the hospital, our daily sacrifices began. I had to deal with countless sleepless nights which only ended when my Muna turned 8 weeks-old.  Only by then  she can  sleep long stretch during the night. I tell you, when your baby cries nonstop and you barely had one hour of sleep  , the joy and excitement turn into tension. I even recall snapping at my hubby a number of times *blush*blush*blush*

Of course I had all the support from my in-laws and my parents who all wanted to take care of me and the newborn. But for whatever reason, I tend to detest and reject all their well-meaning advices. Even their encouragement about breastfeeding my baby sounded so negative at the time. Blame it on the  engorged milk ducts and sore nipples and  not to mention the fluctuating hormones . I am just so glad that despite my reluctance , I obeyed all the advices .  Now, I am  breastfeeding Muna.

All the things I needed to learn as a mom like changing her diaper, bathing her properly, and carefully clothing her came to me like I have already been doing them before. Again, mother instinct  I also try to read as much as I can about parenting and childcare. I frequent relevant websites and read informative blogs. They all come in handy especially for a first-time mom like me who doesn’t have any house help .

I am so lucky that my job has always been  as an external contractor.  That gave me the choice to just sign up for a contract until the month before my due date. This also gave me the liberty to really be hands-on with my baby even just during  her first three months. I believe that mother’s care is always the best.  If given a choice, I would want to be the one to look after her 24/7.  Unfortunately, I am already reporting back to work next week. I know  it is going to be a very  challenging  thing for me but I believe it’s do-able.  However challenging it is, I am up for it.

Maybe, that is what I will write about the next time I blog—the challenges and apprehensions of a working mom and how I manage to find work and life balance.

Regardless of whether you are a first time mom or not, it is very important to keep yourself organized before and after giving birth.  But for first time moms though, I assure you that this post will give you more ideas that you need to make your life more manageable when your baby arrives.

The tips on what to get organized for the coming of your baby in my article entitled “Baby Checklist For Soon-To-Be-Moms” will surely provide you more ideas.

When I got pregnant with my first,  I started buying cloth nappies, white or neutral colored singlets, baby towels, bibs, bottles, steamers etc. as early as the fourth month.  For some, this might be too early, but I can say that it was just the right time.  By the time I approached my seventh and eight month I still felt like the time was not enough to organize everything.  At seventh month I have already organized the entire room with baby cot/bed and all the baby’s things were in place.

When my daughter came, everything seemed to be organized.  With my sister, mom and dad with me in the house, I was able to manage really well.  I realized that the most important thing that a new mom like me needed at that point in time was the love and support from my own family.  With them around, every bit of my daily routine with my daughter was so manageable.

Elders always say that when the new-born baby is asleep mother should take that opportunity to sleep as well or take a rest.  Most of the times I did that, especially during the first few months of the baby.  But since I was also breastfeeding, I also used the time to pump much breast milk while the baby is asleep.  I bottled the milk and put them in the fridge.  When the baby wakes up, my sister or my mom can feed the baby with the bottled breast milk while I do some other things like laundry or tidying up.  If nobody’s around to assist me, I can feed the baby while the bottle was leaned on a side ‘hotdog’ pillow and at the same time I can move around, keeping my eyes on the baby, and do something like organizing things inside the room.

It is very important to calendar errands and appointments where you need to leave the baby at home.  The best thing to do of course is to find someone to look after the baby on that particular day.  Giving the carer at least a couple of days notice will give you an assurance that someone will be there while you are away.  If I had to go to the bank or to my appointment with the ob-gynecologist  my sister or my mom always made sure that they have no appointment to meet or nowhere to go to at the same day.

It is also wise to do most of the things that you can do whenever you get the opportunity to get a carer and leave the baby at home.  After every visit with my ob-gynecologist, I used to do my banking, grocery shopping, or go to the salon to give myself a nice hair wash and head massage, dye and haircut, or go to my dentist for some procedures.  By the time I get home, which was almost afternoon, I was so glad and thankful that I made the most out of the few hours I spent outside home.

Most moms can hardly manage to eat on time.  True?  But the thing is eating your meals on time, aside from eating good and nutritious food that will boost your energy, is what makes us moms going and going and going.  It is a good idea to have easy-to-prepare recipes which will not take too much of our time.  One of my favorites is a ham or chicken caesar salad sandwich.  I consider them a complete meal considering that there’s protein, carbohydrates and lots of fiber in it.  You can even prepare this in advance, in the morning, while the baby is still asleep, put them in the fridge and reheat them at lunch time or afternoon tea time, or eat them as is.  Aside from having rest or nap whenever we can, eating adequately is our way of recharging and keeping ourselves healthy and strong.

Babies are demanding of our time until their first couple of years but at the end of the day parents usually are amazed by themselves on how they were able to manage everything.  I have been there and I know how it was like.  Even now that Ivana is 5 and Alvin is 3, I can say that the demands are still the same BUT more manageable.  I am starting to think sometimes that I have become a parenting expert in my own right, and, oh well, in my own space and home.

I have two friends who are expecting to give birth in August this year.  They are both first time moms.  Their hubbies are so excited for the coming of their first baby.

Looking back, when I was expecting Ivana, I was very organized with everything I needed.  From baby clothes, nappies and upto the bottles, sterilizers and the like.  I have two other sisters who were already moms at that time, and so I got lots of help in preparing for that most awaited day.

Here in LMC, I will provide a checklist, especially for first time moms.  I got this checklist from my favourite shop in Manila and it was very helpful to have this and get ready for everything.  This is a complete list, but you don’t necessarily need all of the things mentioned here.  It’s good to have an idea though on what to purchase and get ready with.

FOR SLEEPING:  BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES: Crib bassinet, mattress cabinet, chest with drawers, changing table, mosquito net, lamp, fitted sheets, comforters, water proof sheets, lap pads, mattress coverings, crib blankets, bolster cases, clothes hamper, diaper stacker, hangers, thermometer, baby monitor, diaper pail, vaporizer/humidifier, crib bumpers, pillows, bolsters, pillow cases

AFTER THE BABY ARRIVES:  Pajama sets/frog suits, sleeveless shirts, short sleeved shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, abdominal binders, mittens, bonnets/caps, gauze, diaper liners, disposable diapers, socks/booties, bibs, receiving blankets

FOR LEARNING:  Crib toys, crib mobile, musical toys, rattles, parenting/baby books, musical/educational CDs/DVDs/VCDs/VHS/Casette tapes

FOR CARING:  BATHING & GROOMING:  Bath tub, rubber mat, sponge, wash cloth, basin, bath thermometer, organizer tray, mild soap, liquid bath soap, baby shampoo, baby powder, baby oil, baby alcohol, baby lotion, baby cream, baby cologne, petroleum jelly, diaper ointment, diaper rash powder, mosquito repellant, baby wipes, cotton swab, cotton balls, finger toothbrush, nasal aspirator, nail cutter, soap case/powder case, bath toys/squeeze toys, baby hair brush, hooded bath towels

BOTTLE FEEDING:  4oz nursers, 8oz nursers, silicon nipples, milk containers, cups & rings, bottle brush, nipple brush, bottle warmer, sterilizing tong, sterilizer, sterilizer rack, bottle keeper/holder

BREASTFEEDING:  Breastpump, nursing pads, nipple cream, nipple shield, breastfeeding pillows

FOR PLAYING:  OUTDOOR ACCESSORIES & ASSORTED TOYS FOR PLAYTIME:  Carrier, Car seat, head support pad, car and go bag, stroller, nursery bag/bottle bag, changing pad, stroller pad, portable crib/play pen, portabed, insulated bottle keeper, high chair, soft bite spoon, plate warmer, baby bowl, training cups, food maker, stroller toys, activity/educational toys

The aforementioned items are needed from the time the baby was born and some are useful even until toddler years.  Keep this list and pass it to your friends who are pregnant or first time moms…they will surely be happy to be reminded.