(After almost a decade of missing this friend and searching for her in the net, I have finally found her.  Atty. Melody Moya-Manuel was one of my dearest friends in Law school.  I was always inspired by how this lady handles herself under pressure and keeping beautiful smile on her face even under nerve-wrecking class recitations in our subject International Law where our friendship started. ‘Mel’, as I fondly call her is married to Atty.  Rommel Manuel Esq. and a mom to 3 girls equally beautiful as her. – Toni)

 

“I don’t know whether this would still be on time or my deadline had been past due but nevertheless to give in to my friend’s request to write an article about a working mom working abroad, I just thought to give it 10 minutes of my time to write this very thorough letter if this would appear like one to express my thoughts, emotions and sentiments of a mother working abroad.  

 

 

 

I am a mother of three beautiful and adorable daughters age 5 years old, 3 years old and a 3-month old – Dazzle, Daphne and Divine, respectively.  I never thought my being a lawyer would be practiced in the land of big Apple.  I passed the bar in the Philippines, continue my Masters of Law in Japan and now a working mom in New York.  Likewise, becoming a mother of three is beyond my comprehension specifically as I juggle up my being a mom, a wife while honing my legal skills and HR management. 

I said ’5 cents and pancakes’ as the title of this piece because of my experience this week. 

Monday I was pissed off with my husband because he paid the bus driver $2.20 instead of $2.15, with the extra 5 cents he gave to the bus I did not speak to him nor allow him to kiss goodbye when he get off from the bus.  It was not the amount that I was getting upset but it was the thought that the little money we have and the budgeting that’s killing me every single cents matters to me.  I had difficulty in figures since kindergarten and up to now I never passed with flying colors when it comes to figures so the pain is just hurting so much when it comes to giving priorities in our budget. 

Comes Tuesday, I have no singles and smaller bills to my surprise, this time, a different bus driver who seems fond of us as a couple allow me to get in without paying.  I thought I misheard him so I came back to pay but he said that’s fine..no worries. I was beginning to feel a little guilty with the extent of argument and damage we had just yesterday and now I had a free ride of $2.15.

Wednesday, the most devastating day of the week, we found out we double paid the Immigration in the amount of $1,570 and it came from the fact we tried to rectify the mistake we had in previously filing an incomplete application, canceling the other one, submitting a new one, approving the incomplete one, putting a stop payment to the corrected one and then ended up paying for the two applications otherwise we would be in debt with the government and at the same time canceling the visa should it be approved if we put a stop payment.  Oh yes, I’m screwed!!! I cannot imagine losing $3,140 worst scenario if both petitions be rejected.  It was all my fault.  I kept mum on this with the kind of things happening to me–I’m trying to be in control of our budget of our money just to have a little decent life here in America and yet horrible things are just starting to come in…

Thursday, I read a forwarded article from my sister who dislikes forwarded message and requested that such messages for her be stopped.  I was surprised she sent it to me, to my family and I read it “Pancakes” – a story of a boy who would like to do good things and yet ended up in turmoil in trying to cook one good pancake for his parents.  Expecting his father would get mad but instead his father embraced him and helped him with all his mess with his father getting messy as well.  An analogy of God the Father according to the article helping our way people in trying to do good but ending up in bad shape. 

I know the connection of this is still somewhere to establish in my experience as a working mom, but,  as I can see myself, I am no exception to  this boy, trying to perfect everything but still ended up @!*^-&%@!! (sorry for the word).  I try to be a loving mother but ended up yelling to all my toddlers always telling them I’ll send you home in the Philippines.  I try to be a good advocate of immigrants and I ended up paying more than my salary. I try to be a good wife but I ended up a grouchy madam. I try to be a good friend I ended up submitting this article too late. To top all that, I missed my dad during this times of trouble and I ended up being hanged up as my 77 year-old dad is trying to prove he is still busy with the household chores.

Wow…sooo heavy…but do I feel bad? Would it be a surprise if I say that ” I just feel it all” —  I still feel I am loved and blessed –and I for the first time in my life I feel I am a human—now I concluded my becoming a mom makes me human.  Whether or not here or abroad, Philippines or elsewhere it won’t make a difference. Only the fact remains, it gave me a touch of a human being — making mistakes and still loved by many, my loving family.”

 

Atty. Melody Moya-Manuel
Legal Assistant, Herbert Tan Law Office
Manhattan, New York
Philippine Lawyer
Masters of Comparative Laws in the University of Tokyo Japan
Monbukagakusho Scholar (Japanese Government Scholar)
University of the Philippines, Los Banos, BA Sociology, Cum Laude